van hilarious

It isn't good.

I'm not sure its even bluegrass.

But it is ALL Diamond Dave.

Might as well watch.

gather ye rosebuds while ye may

I know the movie came out a hundred years ago. And I know that I have seen it a hundred times. But Dead Poets Society just keeps growing on me more and more each time I watch it.

After watching it again this past weekend, one scene has been playing over and over in my head. And that is what I love about this movie...each time I watch it another scene grabs me.

Well, this time it won't let go.

In the scene, Mr. Keating (Robin Williams) has just asked Todd (Ethan Hawke) to read aloud a poem that he had written for the class. Todd, being shy and ackward, says that he doesn't want to and didn't even write a poem. So Mr. Keating has him stand up in front of the class and points to a picture of Walt Whitman on the wall. The scene proceeds:

KEATING: The picture of Uncle Walt up there. What does he remind you of? Don't think. Answer. Go on.

(Keating begins to circle around Todd.)

TODD: A m-m-madman.

KEATING: What kind of madman? Don't think about it. Just answer again.

TODD: A c-crazy madman.

KEATING: No, you can do better than that. Free up your mind. Use your imagination. Say the first thing that pops into your head, even if it's total gibberish. Go on, go on.

TODD: Uh, uh, a sweaty-toothed madman.

KEATING: Good God, boy, there's a poet in you, after all. There, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close 'em. Now, describe what you see.

(Keating puts his hands over Todd's eyes and they begin to slowly spin around.)

TODD: Uh, I-I close my eyes.

KEATING: Yes?

TODD: Uh, and this image floats beside me.

KEATING: A sweaty-toothed madman?

TODD: A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain.

KEATING: Oh, that's excellent. Now, give him action. Make him do something.

TODD: H-His hands reach out and choke me.

KEATING: That's it. Wonderful. Wonderful.

(Keating removes his hands from Todd but Todd keeps his eyesclosed.)

TODD: And, and all the time he's mumbling.

KEATING: What's he mumbling?

TODD: M-Mumbling truth. Truth is like, like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold.

(The students begin to laugh and Todd opens his eyes. Keating quickly gestures for him to close them again.)

KEATING: Forget them, forget them. Stay with the blanket. Tell me about that blanket.

TODD: Y-Y-Y-You push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough. You kick at it, beat it, it'll never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream.

(Todd opens his eyes. The class is silent. Then they begin to clap and cheer.)

KEATING: (whispering to Todd) Don't you forget this.

What is it about that scene? Why have I been unable to escape it?

I think one reason is the awakening of giftedness. Beauty, truth, goodness...it all lies in us, asleep and futile. Until someone or something breathes life into it. In the scene it was almost as if Todd couldn't help but let the poetic imagery drip from his mouth like a maple tree first tapped. That moves me. As an artist. As a human.

Secondly, and on a much darker note, I love the way he desribes "truth". Well, I shouldn't say I love it. Actually I find it quite unsettling. Scroll up and read it again. A blanket that leaves your feet cold...pull it, stretch it...it will never be enough...it will never cover us...it will only cover our faces as we scream.

As a Christian, I cling to truth...to THE Truth. I must. But to be honest, in my darkest moments...the moments when doubt no longer creeps, but stampedes...I have often felt the same. That the Truth I hold so dearly is nothing more than a blanket that will never truly cover all of me. That its only real use is covering my eyes and ears as I scream, giving me the false illusion of safety and protection from the broken world around me.

Now, I know...with as much confidence as I know that I exist...that Todd's description of truth is, indeed, comletely inaccurate. And yet it connects with something inside of me. That is the beauty of poetry. It isn't science or math. It isn't formulaic or systematic. It isn't about right and wrong. That is what makes it dangerous. And that is what makes it beautiful. It is about giving voice to the deepest parts of what makes us alive...what makes us human.

...man, that is one good movie.

mentos, diet coke, and lots of time

I mean, seriously...what's the good of being a couple of geniuses if you don't have fun with it, right??

Check these guys out.

hurricane bill has subsided

I returned home from Long Beach, MS last night. It was a good trip.

I do need to make a correction on who I was working with, however. I was under the impression that it was Purdue Campus House. That was not in fact the case. It was two or three churches from the Lafayette, IN area. Many people were at one time or another involved with the Campus House, but it was not a Campus House trip. Sorry.

My confusion over who I was going down to lead worship for is understandable, though. The person orginally booked to go with them, cancelled last minute. They got my name from someone and called me on Wednesday afternoon. From that point on, my entire contact with them before the trip consisted of a couple 2 minute phone conversations and one e-mail. Needless to say, I had very little information. But my week was going to be relatively free and it all kinda felt right. So I made some last minute arrangements, grabbed my guitar and headed out of town Sunday after church, not knowing exactly where I was headed or who I was headed towards.

All I knew is that they wanted someone to lead worship and I can do that.

So I went and had an amazing experience. Made friends, hammered a lot of nails (albeit very poorly), met the mayor of Long Beach (true story), and hopefully blessed the churches there serving that area on their mission trip.

I must say, though, what made the biggest impression on me was the state of destruction that the Gulf Coast is still in. Katrina hit 10 months ago. 10 months! I had naively assumed that life had gotten back to normal...at least for the most part. I mean, CNN's coverage stopped awhile ago, its no longer on the cover of Time or Newsweek, Sean Penn's not roaming the streets with a shotgun and personal press photographer anymore...you just really don't hear anything about it now.

But oh my goodness.

It is unreal.

I wish I could explain it...but there really are no words.

And what is most amazing is that this same coast was hit by an extremely large hurricane in 1904, and then again by Hurricane Camille in 1969 (and of course, many smaller ones in between). These people have learned how to live in that enviroment. Their buildings and houses were built to withstand hurricanes. Steel frames, cement fencing, of lots trees to cushion the impact. They have very serious codes, regulations, and safety precautions for building anything that close to the coast...because they know the destructive power of hurricanes.

Or at least they thought they did.

Katrina made anything they have ever experienced before seem like a light summer breeze. These buildings were the best and strongest that man can build, and they were destroyed in an instant. She absolutely demolished everything. Most people believe it will take 30-40 years to rebuild. At this point, they are years away from even beginning to think about rebuilding. New codes and regulations are being written and rewritten and working their way through the long legislation process. And nothing can be built until they are passed. Debris is still being cleaned. The insurance companies are playing catch up.

Everything has changed.

And they are in a vicious circle, because so many people left and so many business went under. Now there isn't enough employment to get people back and with out the people back, the remaining business are struggling to stay afloat.

It really is sad.

On Thursday, I drove to New Orleans. And the devastation there is obviously every bit as horrible. I drove down Bourbon Street, Canal Street, and then over one of the levees that had broken into the part of town called the 9th Ward. The water marks on the buildings are nearly 20 feet high. Whole city blocks abandoned. It is an actual, present-day ghost town.

I didn't stay in New Orleans for too long, though. Because frankly, I was scared. I was alone and the city looks like a war zone. I don't even know where you would start rebuilding.

On the way back to Long Beach, instead of taking the interstate, I drove along the coast on Highway 90 (the Pacific Coast Highway of the Gulf Coast). I literally drove the path of the hurricane. I stopped and sat on a chunk of what used to be the boardwalk and stayed there for awhile, looking at the the trees sticking up out of the water. It was surreal and overwhelming.

That moment ended, though, when a seagull began dive-bombing my head and I screamed and ran to my car, arms flailing like little girl.

I needed to get back anway (at least that is what I told myself as I drove away trying to regain my manhood).

So what did I learn from all of this? I don't know. Nothing we all don't know already. That stuff is just that...stuff. That what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal.

I also saw, in very disturbing realness, that as fast as you can build, accumulate, earn or buy is as fast as it can all be ripped away...and taken in such a manner to which there is no retaliation and no retribution. It is just gone.

And you know, that kinda makes you think about your priorities.

out of service

Hurricane Bill is set to hit the Gulf Coast tonight a little past midnight and will last until Friday morning. Due to the severity of this event, I will not be online until Saturday afternoon at the earliest.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

(I apologize for referring to myself in the third-person...and as a hurricane. I am leading worship for a Purdue Campus House Mission Trip and will in Long Beach, MI all week. But check back next week. I'm sure I'll have something deep and profound to share with you. Or at least something mildly entertaining.)

move over, norris

I was planning on posting something new today. Little did I know that my work would be done for me as soon as I got online.

This is the story.

Because in life you have to have priorities, the first thing I do when I get to work everyday is check my 'myspace' page. I know...its pathetic. But at least that way I can get it out of the way and spend my day doing more productive things. Like blogging. Anyway, this morning I had a friend request from some guy named Ryne. I did not know this man. So, I went to his page and found out that he is 15 years old. In his profile picture, he is snuggling with a girl I recognized from the retreat I led worship for at Johnson Bible College this past spring. This girl had e-mailed me a couple months ago, requesting the chord charts to some of the songs on my CD. I sent them to her; she said thanks; end of story.

Until today.

I accepted Ryne's invitation, checked out his page and found that one of his blogs was entitled:

"When Bill Wolf plays Guitar EVERYBODY listens".

Understandably intrigued, I opened the blog to find that it was a list of "Random Bill Wolf Facts". Those of you who are familiar with "Random Chuck Norris Facts" can understand the sheer excitement and joy I experience upon this discovery. I don't know if this is good or bad. I don't know if this makes me a celebrity, or the butt of some youth's jokes. I don't know. And frankly, I don't care. Because I have a friggin list of Random Facts about me. In my book, that equals awesome.

Since Ryne is only 15, you have to be a friend to see his profile and read his blog. Otherwise, I would post a link to it and you could read it for yourself. Instead, I will copy and paste the list for you to read here. And you will have to trust me that I did not write these about myself. I know it is hard to believe...but this really isn't a joke. Here is the list. Enjoy.

1. When Bill Wolf plays guitar EVERYBODY listens.
2. Bill Wolf can play a guitar so fast only dogs can hear it.
3. Chuck Norris does have a weakness, Bill Wolf’s guitar.
4. Some mom's play music to there babies who are still in the womb to comfort them, Bill Wolf played music when he was in the womb to comfort his mom.
5. When Bill Wolf was a little kid he never played his hardest on guitar, so Jimi Hendrix wouldn't feel bad.
6. Bill Wolf can play the whole song Free Bird perfectly, in under thirty seconds.
7. When Bill Wolf plays an air guitar you can hear it.
8. If you have never heard of Bill Wolf it's because he doesn't want you to know who he is yet.
9. Bill Wolf's voice doesn't break glass, it breaks solid concrete walls.
10. Bill Wolf can sing above, and below the hearing spectrum.
11. Bill Wolf can make rain, with his hands.
12. When it's sunny outside Bill Wolf is playing a happy song; when it's gloomy he is playing a sad song; when Bill Wolf plays a mad song, Earthquakes happen.
13. Bill Wolf can play a guitar with his mind better than you can with your hands.
14. Bill Wolf's drummer can play drums, sing, write, read, browse the internet, and text message at the same time.
15. Bill Wolf knows which came first, the chicken or the egg.
16. Bill Wolf can mesmerize you with his guitar.
17. The qualifications to be in Bill Wolf's band include swimming the Atlantic Ocean, and being able to play atleast 30 instruments fluently.
18. Bill Wolf speaks the international language of rock.
19. Bill Wolf has written songs so amazing if he were to play them it would tear a whole in the fabric of the universe.
20. Bill Wolf's band plays even when the ship is sinking.
21. Bill Wolf's real name is so musical people couldn't stop singing it, so he changed his name to Bill.
22. Bill Wolf can play Mozart, with his armpits.
23. Bill Wolf has been known to play lead guitar with one hand, and Bass guitar with the other.
24. The keyboardist in Bill Wolf's band is the funniest man alive, period.
25. The keyboardist can make you laugh so hard that your heart actually stops.
26. Bill Wolf is better than you at everything, he just doesn't want you to feel bad.

house-church movement

This is a good article from the Washington Post about the house-church movement.

I still am not sure how I feel about the church moving in this direction.

On one hand, I think it is good and right. It does look a lot like what is modeled in the New Testament. And it certainly lends itself to being a life-style thing, as opposed to a Sunday morning from 9:00-10:00am thing.

But on the other hand, the apostle Paul did speak highly of church structure, organization, and leadership. He didn't seem to think that a bunch of people sitting in their living room enjoying fellowship and conversation was enough. In his first letter to Timothy, in the midst of instructions for corporate gatherings and qualifications for eldership, Paul stated that the reason he was writing was so the people in the Ephesian church would know how to, "conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar of foundation and truth". He obviously thought very highly of the organized local body of believers.

I wonder if we aren't just glorifying the way the church looked in the book of Acts, while almost ignoring the way it developed through out the rest of the New Testament.

I don't know...it seems like that sometimes.

Again, I am just not sure how I feel about the house-church movement. I absolutely agree that we need a new way of church. The suburban, evangelical, contemporary church is not the final frontier in the life of the Church. There is a new way out there. I just don't know if this is it.

I usually like to organize my thoughts better than this and at least say something definitive. But my thoughts on this subject simply are not yet well-developed. I'm really just looking for input.

Any thoughts?

sorry ladies...

Gunnar Malstrom is officially OFF of the market.

For those of you who know Gunnar, yeah...that's right. He is engaged...to be married. I know, I didn't see it coming either. Of course, with Gunnar there are a lot of things you don't see coming.

For those of you who don't know Gunnar, let me catch you up. In honor of this exciting news, I will post a "Top 10 List of Crazy Gunnar Facts".

Here you go:

10. Gunnar is obsessed with "Top 10" lists. He spent large portion of his time in college creating them during class. I think that might be why it took him 7 years to graduate. I don't know, though. My favorite "Top 10" list: "Top 10 Gunnars of All Time". Among others, it included one of the Swedish kids from Mighty Ducks 2, as well as Gunnar Nelson. I'm sure you can guess who was #1.

9. Gunnar's real first name...on his birth certificate...is "Gunnar". It is not a nickname. His parents were watching Mission Impossible (the TV show) way back in the day and on that particular episode, one of the villains was named "Gunnar Malstrom". They were so excited that they promised eachother they would name their first born son "Gunnar". Well, they did. And gave him the middle name "Oscar" to boot, ensuring that he wouldn't grow up and choose to go by his middle name instead.

8. Gunnar has tried repeatedly to set-up his mother with 80's wrestling icon Mr. Fuji. Its true. We both worked with Mr. Fuji at a movie theatre while in college. He would buy us dinner and tell us stories from his life in the WWF. And while I was never really anything more than just "Hot Dog Boy" to Mr. Fuji (that was his nickname for me based on my usual choice of dinner), he and Gunnar became good friends. And to this day, Gunnar is still trying to convince him to marry his mother.

7. Gunnar almost fell asleep while streaking. He, our friend Jake, and another rather handsome individual (who will remain nameless) decided it would be fun to run around the campus of our Bible College in the middle of the night wearing nothing but ski-mask and tennis shoes. The rule: every man for himself. No one was hanging back to keep pace with a slower runner. This was a sprint. Gunnar, not being the swiftest of foot, lagged behind and lost sight of the other two. He saw headlights and darted for a bush. Scared of being caught in such a vulnerable position, he remained hidden for some time...that is until he began nodding off. Fearing he would fall asleep and be found in the morning, sprawled all over the sidewalk, he bravely trekked back through the parking lot and into his dorm room window.

6. Gunnar swears he invented the "7 Degrees" game. Only he didn't play it using Kevin Bacon. He played it with Denis Lawson. "Who?", you might ask. He is the actor that played "Wedge" in Star Wars, which happened to be Gunnar's favorite character. Never heard of him? Yeah, Gunnar has a favorite of everything, and it is usually something you've never heard of. But, he has played that game as long as I have known him and I have never seen him stumped. He even traced me back to Denis Lawson one time. I don't remember how, though.

5. Gunnar has been in 5 different bands that never played a single show. Despite having posters, websites, CDs, music videos, and even a small number of fans..."Gunnar and the Pistols", "Merlin's Dream", "The Other Side of Normal", "Pleasing Aroma", and "Homage" all broke-up before having ever played a show. "Homage", the band he played with while still in highschool, did have a catchy slogan though, "5 Guys, 4 Seniors, 3 Wrestlers, 2 Kens, 1 Eyebrow and 0 talent" (the band consisted of Gunnar, his two friends named Ken, and a couple of teammates from the wrestling team, one of which had a unabrow).

4. Gunnar has been pulled over for drunk-driving without having so much as an ounce of alcohol in his system...TWICE. Needless to say, we didn't let Gunnar drive on road trips often.

3. Gunnar was deeply saddened by the death of Christopher Reeves. And not because he was a fan of his "Superman" movies, but because he is a stand-up comedian and some of his best jokes were about Christopher Reeves being in a wheel-chair. Off-color? Yes...but hilarious. They just didn't get the same response, though, after his passing.

2. Gunnar's dirty underwear once caught on fire during a church service. Planning on doing laundry after church, Gunnar had a trunk full of dirty clothes. The light in his trunk had fallen and was hanging loose. Laying atop the mound of dirty laundry, it eventually caught fire. As church got out, the congregation walked outside to the sight of a car with smoke billowing from its trunk. One of the elders ran to the scene, pried the trunk open, and began flinging Gunnar's flaming, dirty underwear all over the church parking lot. That church has yet to regain its identity.

1. Gunnar is an good and incredibly loyal friend, who deserves to be happy and in love. So with that said, I want to extend to him a deep and heartfelt, "Omega Co-ooooode"!!! (I don't know why, but that has been Gunnar's chosen expression of excitement ever since that Casper Van Deen movie came out 7 years ago. I'm serious.)

bizarro world

Last night, when my mind was awakened to the reality of what was taking place in my living room, I had to stop for a moment and take inventory of my life...make sure I was still the person I thought I was.

My wife was reclining on the couch with both legs resting on a stack of pillows, ensuring that her sore knee was higher than her heart. Normal.

I was lying on the loveseat, head rested on one armrest and legs draped over the other, while our dog slept in my lap. Normal.

She was watching TV and I was reading. Normal.

All normal.

But there is more to the story that made this night different than any other night in our marriage.

Last week, my wife finished a book entitled Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. The book is a fictional reworking of the book of Hosea. She absolutely loved it and made me promise to read it as soon as I finished the book I was currently working on. I love the story of Hosea and Gomer and I don't read fiction often enough, so I considered it. BUT (and this is big "but" by the way) this is the cover of the book.

Yeah, I know. All it's missing is Fabio behind her with his shirt off, atop a white stallion.

But she promised me that it wasn't nearly as girly as the cover made it appear. And I am completely secure in my own heterosexuality. So last night, I picked it up and began reading. She was taking her usual evening nap, so I went a head and had the Pistons/Heat game on in the background while I read.

Well, she woke and, since she generally likes sports and the game was close, didn't ask me to change the channel. As the fourth quarter wore on, she got more and more into the game and started rooting for the Heat (actually she was rooting against the Pistons...is there any good reason not to hate that team?). And eventually, she even began vocalizing her opinions of the events that were taking place on the court.

That is when I stopped. Looked around. And realized.

We were in Bizarro World.

She was watching the NBA Playoffs and screaming at the TV, while I was curled up under a blanket reading a romance novel and snuggling with my dog.

I was scared and confused and...oh, would you look at the time. I'd better finish this up and post it.

The wife likes me to have dinner ready by the time she gets home from work.

oh my...

I have seen many things in my life.

Some made me laugh, while others broke my heart. Some filled my eyes with tears of joy and others challenged my way of thinking. Some made me question my faith and others made me fall to my knees in worship and adoration.

I have seen many things.

Then I saw this. And I don't believe I will ever see anything the same way again.

the importance of being foolish

Here are a couple quotes I appreciated from Brennan Manning's book:

"Jesus's self-awareness and unflagging zeal in his ministry must be seen in direct and unceasing relation to his interior growing intimacy with the Father. We must not lose sight of this logical link: the primacy of mission and his consuming zeal for proclaiming the kingdom of God derive not from theological reflection, the desire to edify others, trendy spirituality, or a loose sense of goodwill toward the world. Its wellspring is God's holiness and Jesus's self-awareness of his relation to God."

"Inattentiveness to the holy destroys openness to the Spirit."

blamber

This past Saturday I got to be a groomsmen in my good friend Blake's wedding (by the way, that is Blake in the picture...though, to the best of my knowledge, he was neither falling down nor mentally disabled when it was taken, so I don't really understand the picture...but I like it).

Anyways, you know the whole "Brangelina" and "Bennifer" name combination thing that people like to do with celebrities? Well...Blake, and his now wife, Amber have my favorite combined name ever:

BLAMBER!

It just sounds gross from some reason.

I don't know why, I just thought I'd share that with you. Do you know any other couples that have funny combined names?

Cause "Biltsy" is kinda boring.

good and bad

This is good.

And this is bad.

My friend, and fellow blogger, Dustin, posted a segment from the Out of Ur article on his blog today. I really enjoyed reading it and thought you might, too.

And Pat Robertson...well, he's kinda like that drunk uncle that keeps showing up to your highschool football games. He's so obnoxious and embarrassing. We don't want to admit that we are related to the guy, but we can't help it...he is one of us. Like it or not. And I don't.

a follow up to my previous post

Last night as I thought more about it, I feared that I may have been too harsh in my previous post. Not that I said anything I want to now recant, but simply that I kept it all too one-sided and may not have gotten my point across.

Truth is, I like well-done and creative videos. I went to school to learn how to make them. I thoroughly enjoy the luxury of getting to utilize our current technology in putting together worship services each week. And I don't really have that big of a problem with catchy sermon titles, or shocking billboards.

None of it is bad.

My point is simply that all of that stuff is really just marketing, but what we lack is passion and authenticity.

My point is that we work so hard at updating the church, when she is really in need of revival.

My point is that I am tired of the church trying to improve her appearance, all the while it is the existence of nothing but a dwindling ember inside of her that is the cause of her irrelevancy.

The church doesn't need to be re-invented, it needs to be re-ignited.

To steal a metaphor from Jim Cymbala, it is like dressing up your baby daughter in the prettiest little pink dress, thinking to yourself how all of your family and friends are going to absolutely melt when they see how cute she is. You put her little stockings on, tie a bow in her hair; then pick her up in your arms, carry her out the door and go on your way. Meanwhile, the whole time, you never noticed that she wasn't breathing.

That is why I am so annoyed. I love the church, but the truth is she is lifeless. And dressing her up and trying to make her look appealing to a world who has seen it all anyway, is not going to help. We need life. We need passion. We need fire.

God help us. We need You.

(read Christ's admonishments to the churches in Ephesus, Sardis, and Laodicea as recorded by John in Revelation)

cool. hip. relevant. cutting edge...and totally missing the point.

This article annoyed me greatly.

I'm okay with the whole 'church embracing technology' thing. Personally, not being a tech guy myself, I couldn't care less. But I'm sure its a good thing for people who do have ipods and BlackBerrys and who are into all of that.

No, what grates on my nerves is the crazy billboards and the cool sermon titles; the "zany" videos and the hip jargon. I am not saying that any of that is wrong or bad. I'm saying it annoys me.

I know that one of the churches mentioned grew from 1,000 members to 6,000 in one six-week span because of a sermon series about sex. And good for them. I'm sure their ministry staff and elders were as happy as they could possibly be about that. They are probably working on the blue-prints for their new state of the art worship facility as I type.

But I can't help but wonder, is that growth anything more than a bunch of people who, because they live in Indiana and are going to go to church anyway, decided to hop on over to that cool and hip church down the street. I mean, why not. They don't make you feel uncomfortable or stretch you at all. They'll let you just sit in back row and be entertained.

And in 5 or 10 years is the next hot church going to grow by 5,000 when these people realize that there is a new show in town?

Please know that I am being overly cynical, and purposely unfair. I have a point.

"Don't sound preachy. Avoid "churchy jargon" — words like ministry, salvation, redemption, even faith. Draw nonbelievers to Jesus (or attract "unchurched" Christians to your specific congregation) by presenting the church as an upbeat, uplifting community of friends."

According to this article, that is the "top tip" from the Internet Evangelism Coalition.

Really? Avoid those words? Why?

It sounds to me like that is a great tip for "winning" people to a church, or winning them to the subculture of Christianity. But I don't buy for a moment that avoiding those words will help in winning someone to Christ. Not for a second.

Mostly because Christ came to establish His ministry here on earth, and charged us to...by His Holy Spirit...continue it after He ascended. He died and resurrected for the redemption of our sins and the salvation of the world. And faith? Do you really think there is a person alive who doesn't know what it means to put their faith in someone? Or to take a step out on faith in something?

These words do mean something...something beautiful, something wonderful. Don't avoid them in an attempt to patronize, or cater, or pretend you are something you are not. No. Instead, I say define those words...breathe life into those words. Don't avoid them.

"We dare not change the Gospel. But the method of delivery? We better change it for each new generation."

That is another quote from the article and frankly, it is something that I have heard hundreds of times. And It sounds good, I suppose. But, personally, I think it is a horrible reason to avoid using "churchy" words, or to start using giant video screens and flash technology.

Because here's the truth: those things are not really methods of delivery for the gospel. We are.

Passion, life, relationships, love...those are the only methods of truly delivering the gospel from one person to another. And we can spend all our time worrying about the side-show; concerning ourselves with the tools of ministry (which, granted, can be very good and effective tools)...and miss the only thing that really matters.

All the extra stuff will someday fade away...but the real and only method of delivering the gospel will remain the same...for every generation.

the iceman cometh

That's me. The ice man...and the drink man, the pillow man, the blanket man, the "my ankle itches can you scratch it" man. Yep, that has been my existence since my wife's surgery last Wednesday. And I have cometh, and goneth, from the living room to the bedroom to the kitchen to the bedroom to the...back and forth, back and forth, all hours of the day and night.

She was given orders to not get out of bed, except to go to the bathroom, from the moment she got home from the hospital until she went back for her first physical therapy appointment this morning.

That's 5 days! That is a really long time to lay in the exact same position.

So while, yes...its not always fun being "the Iceman Cometh". I absolutely have no room to complain or whine. I would much rather be that, then "the Drugged-out Girl Layeth in the Same Position".

But she is doing well. And her physical therapist was impressed by how far she could already bend her knee only 5 days after surgery, which is a testament to her faithfulness in sticking with her doctor's excercise routine while lying in bed.

And this morning she was given the okay to get up and move around, granted with crutches and not for extended periods of time, but enough to assume her normal daily routine at home.

So now that my duties have lessened a little, I am able to come back to work and assume my regular role as "the Procrastinating Man Typeth".

going under the knife

For all you praying-types out there: my wife and I would definitely appreciate your prayers tomorrow morning around 8:30am.

She is going in to have knee surgery for a torn ACL.

She is understandably nervous about the whole deal. But actually, she is more scared about the rehab and healing process that will follow. This is the second time she has torn her ACL and the first time around was the most traumatic experience of her life.

So pray for her. And pray for me, that I might be a good husband and caretaker.

Thanks.

(note: Luckily, we do like the surgeon who will be performing the operation. He seems stable.)

acceptance / approval

These words are not synonyms.

There is actually a significant difference between the two. A gulf that is as wide as the sea.

Think of the Atlantic Ocean: a large body of water (to say the least) that seperates North America and Europe, a distance of roughly 3,000 miles. But...from far enough away you can actually fit both continents in the same photograph. From far enough away, 3,000 miles can look like an inch. And from even farther away, it can appear as though there is no more than a sliver seperating one coast from the other.

But try telling that to Benoit Lecomte. In 1998, he became the first person to swim across the Atlantic Ocean...from Hyannis, Massachusetts to Quiberon, France...a feat that took him 72 days, swimming 6-8 hours a day.

I think the problem with the church is that for a long time we have been standing way too far away. We are afraid of acceptance because, from where we are standing, there seems to be practically nothing seperating it from approval.

But that simply is not true. See, Lecomte experienced the reality of the Atlantic ocean. He tasted its saltiness and fought its waves. He knew the fear of jumping off one coast and the exhausted heroism of crawling up on the other.

The church needs to step out of outer space and back into reality. We live in a highly pluralistic world where most people do not share our worldview. And that does not mean that we have to choose between either imposing our standards on others or alienating ourselves because of them. I think that those are both bad choices.

No, I believe we are called to jump into relationships; to take the plunge. To fight the currents of popular opinion, navigate the difficult waters and experience the ocean of blessings.

Let us no longer steer clear of accepting someone who holds a differing belief or practices a certain behavior because we are afraid that doing so will give the impression that we are approving of their choices.

Jesus accepted with out approving. Paul did too. The Pharisees, however, did not.

Acceptance and approval are not synonyms. There is an ocean between them. An ocean we need not fear.

song of the month

Myrrh Worship has selected my song "Beautiful as You" as the song of the month.

What does that mean?

Well, it means:
- it will be reviewed by the Myrrh A&R and publishing teams
- possible distribution on future Myrrh Worship compilations
- it could be represented by Myrrh/Word Music Publishing through a single-song agreement
- and it will be streaming on the front page of their website all month long

What does all of that mean? Yeah, I don't know...probably nothing. But it is still really cool.

So...click the link above and go to their website and check it out. Just scroll down to the orange 'Song Search' box and hit the play button to listen.

And I hope you enjoy.

(note: 'Beautiful as You' is off of the Majesty and Meekness EP which is available in the upper left-hand corner of this page...just in case you wanted to buy it...which I think you should...right now.)

shh...i don't want words to ruin this

just click here

a boyhood dream realized...

When I was younger I wanted to be Kirk Cameron. Mostly because I did not yet possess the abililty to differentiate between an actor and his TV alter-ego. And there was just no one cooler on planet earth than Mike Seaver. He always kept the guys laughing, the girls swooning and the principal guessing. He had style; he had guts; he had it all.

And I wanted to be him.

As I got older, and Growing Pains got cancelled, my longing to be Mike Seaver naturally (and thankfully) waned considerably. He is still one of my favorite TV characters of all time, but frankly the guy has just done one too many Left Behind movies for my taste. However, to this day, his remains to be one of a very small number of faces that can stop my remote on a dime.

I mean, he's still Kirk Cameron.

Well, this Friday night I am going to be helping lead worship for a "The Way of the Master" conference held here in Knoxville. And who do you think is going to be speaking? Hmm...well, I'll give you a hint: his smiling face and curly hair are somewhere on this page (maybe in the upper right-hand corner of this post...maybe) .

Yep. Chances are real good that this Friday night I will be getting to meet Kirk Cameron somewhere back-stage. Unfortunately, I have to leave as soon as it is over and head to Indiana. But I am hoping to get an opportunity to chat with him a little.

And see if we can't get that Boner Stabone saved yet.

invisible children

Last night, I played a charity concert downtown and got to share a stage with some of my favorite musicians and songwriters.

That was cool...but THIS is important.

I won't tell you the whole story; you can go to the website and read that. But I will say that if you take seriously the call of Jesus to take care of the poor, the weak, the oppressed, the vulnerable...you need to check their site out.

www.invisiblechildren.com

church of scientology grows in number

Well, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have reproduced (or so we are being told).

You know what that means, the Senior Minister (or whatever they're called...'Grand Dragon' maybe?) of some Church of Scientology in L.A. is boasting that his congregation grew by at least one yesterday.

Yep. One...very scary little child. And likely future contestant on Celebrity Fit Club 27.

baptism in america, pt.3

I did not plan on posting a third time about baptism. But the conversation has continued and evolved and…well, frankly I have come to a new understanding of this discussion because of one of the comments to "baptism in america pt.2". I’ll share with you a few excerpts from that comment:

“…how about this: Baptism is essential TO salvation. See what I did there? Kept salvation and baptism and essential in there, but didn't hinge salvation ON baptism, but made it seem incomplete without it.”

“I think it would be safe to say that anyone who is serious about their relationship with Christ would be serious about their repentance. They would claim it was essential TO their faith. That it would be impossible for them to follow Jesus without repentance. That without repentance, their conversion wasn't really serious. That without repentance, the words they said didn't really have any meaning. So take everything I just wrote and insert ‘Baptism’ into it. On the issue of essential FOR salvation, won't touch it with a seven hundred and seventy seven foot pole. But if you want to ask if it is essential TO salvation...well, I think He's already spoken.”

I think that changing “for” to “to” is huge. And it is not just semantics.

The phrase, “Baptism is essential for salvation”, to me, sounds an awful lot like, “Baptism is essential for saving my butt when I die”. The word “for” makes it a conversation that is really only about what happens after death. I don’t like that. I think that is a horribly inappropriate way to talk about such a beautiful and powerful thing.

But the phrase, “Baptism is essential to salvation” seems, to me, to say, “Baptism is essential to the salvation that I am continually working out with fear and trembling. Or in other words: it is essential to my life with Christ, which is my salvation.”

And I completely agree with that.

The reason I agree is because eternal life starts at the moment of conversion. The abundant life which Jesus offers is available now, not just in heaven. And exactly what is this eternal and abundant life? It is our life…if our life is one lived with Christ. But that life is not complete upon conversion or ever during our time on this planet. It requires…and even more than requires, it inspires and enables growth and maturity and development.

The point of my previous post on baptism was, let’s change the discussion about what is essential for death to what is vital for life.

See, we Americans are so obsessed with the end product that we constantly under-estimate the importance of the means.

Think about it…we actually microwave food. How telling is that? We make the decision on a daily basis to sacrifice flavor for convenience. So it’s not surprising that we do the same thing with matters of faith.

Not suprising...but unfortunate.

Let’s revisit the marriage analogy. I previously stated that getting married was not, in the secular and practical sense, essential to my wife and I being able to live together, have sex and eventually start a family. Could we still have that type relationship with out the marriage? Yes. But, it is so much more abundant and complete now. I wouldn’t skip the July 12, 2003 part of our relationship for the world. What we did on that day was much more than ceremony or ritual. And it was even more than just an act of obedience to what we thought was commanded.

Something deep and right happened that day.

Something that is essential to the way we now live.

And, you know, I am good with the comparison that the comment makes between repentance and baptism. Peter linked the two together, so I think it is fair and safe to make such a comparison.

Repentance is not something that I do because of the effect it will have on my death. It is something that I do because of the effect is has on my life with Christ.

And so it should be with baptism.

Previously I wrote, “Is it (baptism) essential? I couldn’t care less…”.

The problem is that I was relating the word “essential” to salvation as it occurs upon death, instead of the salvation that we live out every moment of every day. Because in that sense, is baptism essential? Yeah, I think so.

And I couldn’t care more about that.

lord over me

(click here to listen this song)

How unworthy am I in Your presence
Hands are dirty, heart full of sin
How do I look through eyes made for perfection
I have never felt such compassion

You call me beautiful
You call me loved

And I fall down at Your feet
Proclaiming You merciful and holy
And I fall down at Your feet
Anointing You worthy as Lord over me

I have never felt such compassion
How unworthy, I bow before You
Here's my every desire and possesion
All I have is the least that You're due

I wrote this song from the first-person perspective of the sinful woman who fell at Jesus' feet in Luke 7. And when I first wrote it, the words to the chorus were:

And my tears fall at Your feet
Proclaiming You merciful and holy
And my tears at Your feet
Anointing You worthy as Lord over me

And actually, the song makes more sense and remains closer to the story in Luke with the original lyrics. But I changed it because I felt like the current chorus is more universal and easier for your average congregant to grab onto and make his/her own. And I don't believe that changing it severed the song from the story.

And that was important, because that story is one of my favorite stories in the bible.

Basically, Jesus was dining at a Pharisee's house one night. Back before tv, radio or the daily newspaper, when an important person in the community invited another important person over for dinner, it was not uncommon for large crowds to gather outside the house and listen in to the conversation. So, for that woman to be in attendance that night was not unusual.

However, her response to seeing Jesus was.

Apparently she had had a previous encounter with Jesus and knew that He was special. We don't know what the encounter consisted of...but she had obviously been shaken to the core by the words or deeds of the Man she was now watching from afar.

And in seeing Him again...she snapped.

She broke out from the crowd and drew unwanted attention to herself by running towards Christ. Certainly the people in the crowd knew this woman...or at least her reputation. They would have found it embarrassing and completely inappropriate for her to approach a Pharisee, let alone whoever this Jesus guy might be.

How unbelievably humbling would it be to come before a Man who you know is privy to every horrible thing you have ever done? How dirty would you feel knowing that these eyes, that were made to gaze upon the splendor and perfection of the inner sanctuaries of heaven, now fell upon you, in all your filth and despair? How pathetic would you feel having nothing with which to clean the feet of this holy Man, except your salty tears and matted hair?

And then...how would it feel for Him to look at you, and despite all of the above, call you beautiful and loved?

Well...that'd probably be enough for you to pour out everything that used to be of worth to you and call this Man: Lord and Christ.

baptism in america, pt.2

I don't know why, but for some reason that USA Today article (see previous post) really got me thinking.

And the more I have thought about it, I think the biggest reason that people don't care to get baptized anymore is because people just don't see the point.

Nobody thinks that baptism is essential for salvation anymore.

And, well...I don't think that I do either.

I mean, I think that it is commanded. I think that it is good and right and pleasing to God. I think that there is no good reason for you NOT to be baptized if you believe Christ is who He says He is and want to allign your life with His. I think Christ did it and taught us to. I think the apostles did it and assumed that every other Christian would to. And...I think that it is proper.

But essential? My opinion is that it is not our place to use such a word when talking about baptism. My opinion is that we should concern ourselves with obedience, and leave the figuring out of what is essential and what isn't to God. Because...regardless of what we think or believe, you know He gets it right every time.

And frankly, God is probably saying, "Wait, wait, wait...who said anything about "essential"? I just want you to do it because it brings you and I closer together and it connects us on a level that is, granted, deeper than you are able to currently comprehend...but I didn't think that would matter. I just figured you would want to. Man, I wish you guys would stop worrying so much about what is going to happen between you and I when you die, and start concerning yourselves a little more with what could happen between you and I right now."

You know, this time three years ago I could have looked at my wife and said, "Babe, let's not do the whole wedding thing. I mean, we can still move in together and have sex and eventually start a family without actually getting married and going through all that ritual and ceremonial mumbo-jumbo. Let's just skip all that."

I could have done that.

But it would have robbed my wife of the opportunity to get all her friends and family together; get dressed in all white; and slowly walk through the middle of the room while every person in attendance stands to their feet and glues their eyes to her radiant face. It would have robbed her of the one day in her life when she gets to be, all day long, far and away, the most beautiful and important person in the world. And it would have robbed her of the opportunity to hear me declare, in front of almost every person we know, that I love her and want to live the rest of my life loving her, loving only her.

Yeah...I could have done that. But it would have been stupid and selfish. And I would have sacrificed a blessing to my own soul, because my mind reasoned it was unnecessary.

But still, I could have done that. Because, in the secular and practical sense, marriage is not "essential"...but it sure is better.

I think that it is absolutely vital that we start teaching our people that there is power in baptism; that there is mystery and beauty in baptism; that baptism is a privledge, an honor, a joy, not a have to, but a get to. We need to start teaching our people the importance of baptism as a connection to Christ, to our rich history and to one another.

Oh, if God's people could begin to see baptism again for what it truly is...

Is it logical? Probably not.
Is it practical? I don't know.
Is it essential? I couldn't care less...
Because it is wonderful.

And it is ours to claim and freely partake in.

Why aren't Americans getting baptized anymore? Because we, Christians, have spent all our time and energy speculating on its possible effect on our deaths...rather than rejoicing in its powerful effect on our lives.

baptism in america

Here is a very interesting article from USA Today regarding the decline in the number of baptisms in the United States in recent years.

This discouraging trend is currently shared by all denominations: Catholics, Southern Baptists, Methodists, even non-denominational churches.

Personally, I thought the part about the growth of the "Seeker" Church, which generally down-plays tradition and ancient rituals in it's attempt to make faith appealing by making it simple, practical and non-threatening, as being a part of the problem was especially interesting. The non-denominational "Seeker" Church is the type of church that I have been a part of for the past decade, and my opinion is that this observation is quite accurate.

Do you have any thoughts on the article?

(NOTE: this article does quote Brian McLaren and Rob Bell. So, come on...you know its worth reading.)

the war on easter

Finally, a cause worth backing. I know, I know...we could concern ourselves with fighting world hunger, or unfair foreign trade policies, or things of that nature. But why worry about petty issues like that when the real problem with our world is so obvious: Easter.

Check this out.

So apparently a belief that has survived and spread under intense scrutiny for the last 2,000 years (literally since day one) is going be taken down a notch or two this Sunday by 666 copies (Ooo, clever) of a DVD that will childishly be snuck into and left inside various churches across the nation. Impressive. This Brian Flemming guy is quite possibly a bigger tool than Michael Moore (which I did not know was possible).

He is either unbelievably arrogant or unbelievably foolish. Or...more than likey, he is just in it to make money and understands that stirring religious controversy is a very lucrative business. In that case, I applaud the guy because I'm sure he will be extremely successful.

But if he is even slightly sincere in believing that this will have any kind of effect what-so-ever on Christianity...he is moron. A comletely and utter moron.

By the way, Mr. Flemming, I am also a "a self-described 'former Christian Fundamentalist'". But that doesn't make me hate Jesus...just Christian Fundamentalism.

But whatever, good luck with your mission. I am sure you will accomplish...something.

an apology

I realize that I haven't been real good at updating my blog recently. I realize that and I apologize...to those of you who care anyway. See, I have recently been extraordinarly busy and pretty daggone sick, too. But what is worse than being sick and tired...and really a side-effect of being sick and tired...is that I have had very little going in recently.

And with little going in...I just have not had much coming out.

So...I apologize. I will try and do better. I am now healthy again and, post-Easter Sunday, my life should slow down a bit.

Thanks for your patience.

getting my strep on

Alright...so I got a bit cocky.

As I have mentioned before, during the trip out west every one of the guys got sick...except me. While they were throwing-up all over themselves, I was having a good ole time, just as healthy as can be. And maybe it went to my head a little. Maybe I started to wonder if I was some kind of super-human, immune to any earthly virus or disease. I mean, every single person gets sick except for me...that has to signify my superiority over the average man, doesn't it?

Apparently not. With my immune system weakened from battling the rebel stomache virus all day every day for more than a week, my body was left defenseless and Strep Throat strolled in with little to no resistance.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

And not only did Strep Throat decided to take-over my battle-laden body, but he brought along his lackeys: the Flu and Sinus Infection. And the three of them have been partying it up the last 5 or 6 days.

So, I am not super-human. Okay, I get it. Point made. Now I am ready to be well again.

Funny story:
Tuesday, when my wife got home from work, she took me to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions. While she was inside, I was sitting in the front seat of the car reading the inside of a CD sleeve while Harley, our pug, sat on my lap. Harley loves people and was staring out the window hoping to draw the attention of every person who passed by. She apparently caught the eye of one particular gentlemen who was parked in the spot to our immediate right. Thinking that she was a very precious dog (which she is), he proceeded to pucker his lips and make kissy sounds towards her.

That is normal enough.

But the whole episode took an extremely ackward turn when I looked up from the CD sleeve and locked-in eye contact with this gentlemen...mid kissy-face. Now this guy is no longer making a kissy-face towards my dog...he's making it towards me.

And we don't know even eachother.

He's just some random middle-aged guy, with a wife and kids, who had to pick up some AA batteries for the garage door opener on his way home from work (I'm guessing) and is now making a kissy-face towards some sickly-looking guy lying near death in the front seat of his car.

Creepy.

So Strep hasn't been all bad...at least it provided me with that funny encounter. Although it hurts to laugh, so even then I couldn't enjoy it fully. But I am ready to be over it and back to normal.

If not super-human...at least normal.

a.w. tozer

'The Pursuit of God' was one of those books for me.

You know, those books...the ones that you read at just the right time, at just the right place in your life. The ones that say everything you have always believed, but have not yet thought. The ones that resound so deeply within you that you can't help but look away after reading every passage, shake your head and say "Wow".

You know, those books...the ones that you immediately tell all your family and friends to read and then get offended when they don't finish.

'The Pursuit of God' was definately one of those books. And so it sits in its rightful place on the top shelf of my book case, along side every other one of those books that I have read.

About two-years ago, I came across this website. It archives thousands of audio files of sermons given by the greatest preachers of the last century. I found and downloaded two complete sermon series (each one containing 10+ sermons) given by Tozer on the topic of worship in the church. Now, given that these sermons were recorded in the late 50's and early 60's...the sound quality leaves much to be desired. They can be near impossible to understand at times and require a good measure of concentration while listening. But with that said...oh my goodness, are they amazing.

The things this man studied and understood and taught are so timeless and so true.

Recently, I have been reading another book by Tozer, 'The Knowledge of the Holy'. It is pretty heavy, not so much in stature but in theology...its definately not a quick read.

In it, I came across this and thought I would share it with you:

"To be right we must think worthily of God. It is morally imperative that we purge from our minds all ignoble concepts of the Deity and let Him be the God in our minds that He is in His universe. The Christian religion has to do with God and man, but its focal point is God, not man...That God exists for Himself and man for the glory of God is the emphatic teaching of the Bible. The high honor of God is first in heaven as it must yet be on earth."

"...let Him be the God in our minds that He is in His universe"

Wow.

Proverbs 9:10

and...i am back

Whew. The trip out west is done and it was amazing. It was hilarious and scary and frustrating and wonderful. I'm glad we were taken along for the journey. And I can not imagine having more fun with any other group of guys. We laughed a lot and bonded a lot...probably more than is healthy. But hey, 60+ hours in a car together and walls break down.

There is too much to share here, and I realize that this is all that I have posted about recently. So I won't go into any more detail. But I will say that the whole trip truly was a blessing.

I do kind of feel the need to admit something to you, though. I don't really know what the purpose of the trip was. I mean, I sold some CDs...which is good, and I know that every church we visited really enjoyed us and wants to have us back sometime...and thats good, too. But I believe there was a greater purpose for us having traveled so far to join these specific churches in their ministries.

And I believe it is a purpose that is not our own.

I believe God had a purpose in birthing this idea somewhere inside of me last September. I believe He had a purpose in bringing it all to fruition. I believe He had a purpose in closing some very obvious doors and opening ones that I would never have thought of entering...and others that I didn't even know existed. And I believe His purpose had everything to do with bringing Himself glory and honor and praise.

That is all I know: that He had a purpose. I know that. I believe that. However, I honestly have no clue what it may have been. His purposes are above and beyond me. They are eternal. All that my mind can comprehend is the temporal. Sometimes God does reveal pieces of His purpose to us and we are blessed to recieve such glimpses. But a lot of times He simply says, "Go. Do. And trust Me."

Now, we can ask why...and we should ask why. But we can not always expect a clear and direct answer. Because God knows how unable we are to handle the complexities of Him and His ways. And really, I think God probably cares a lot less about our questions and answers than we do. I think what He really enjoys is our asking, our seeking, our acknowleging that He knows and we don't...that He is the Provider and we are the providees...that He is the all-powerful God of the universe and we are His children. That glorifies God as God. And it humbles us.

And from that position, when all parties are in the proper place, God is fully able to rightly bless us...and bless the world through us...all to His glory.

So, what was the trip all about? Yeah, I don't know. But I certainly praise God for it.

vegas baby, vegas

After playing the last two nights here in Vegas, we are leading worship this morning at Canyon Ridge Christian Church and then hitting the road. The trip will take somewhere around 30hrs. Yeah, it'll be long.

The Vegas leg, which is the final leg, has been a blast. I've gotten to see a lot of my old friends and the guys have had a chance to see Vegas in all its beauty. Hoover Dam, the Strip, In&Out...all the important stuff.

One really fun aspect of the trip is that we picked up some kind of stomache virus or something in Colorado...so since Tuesday at least one person has been sick everyday. We even got Jake and Candice Keck throwing-up. Sorry guys. So, since Colorado, we haven't played once with full confidence that we were all going to make it through the night without puking all over ourselves. It's added a whole new excitement to leading worship.

Sorry this is short. I need to hit the road and get to Canyon for this morning's service. I'm sad to see the trip end...but I'll be happy to get home and see my wife.

orange county, ca

Last night we led worship at Eastside Christian Church in Fullerton, CA. If you don't know where that is...its right outside Los Angelos in the O.C. It was an interesting night considering 3 out of the 5 of us on stage where as sick as dogs. Jake (drums), Nate (bass), and Taylor (keys) all were pasty white and sweaty, with gross stuff coming out of both ends. Not pretty. But they sucked it up and played amazingly.

Eastside is a very cool church. One of the two guys that started XXXchurch was a youth minister there before he left to fight porn. They host things like 'Battle of the Bands' for the local highschools and are very active in the community. They have a very large youth group made up of a mix of skaters and emo kids. It was definately a culture shift from East Tennessee.

We felt a little out of place, but despite our differences in appearance...we all joined together and went after the heart of God as one body and one voice. These kids blew me away. They were so passionate and so authentic. It was surely not the strongest we've played, technically speaking (I think the fact that over half of the guys on stage were near death had a lot to do with that). But the energy in the room was palpable. God overcame our weakness and showed Himself strong. And He was worshipped and glorified.

It was a blessed night.

We are now in Las Vegas. The House Church concert got moved from Wednesday night to tonight. So we are going to grab a bite to eat at Baja Fresh, maybe hit the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace and then run through stuff for tonight. I'll have lots to post about from our time here in Vegas. I'll try and post something tomorrow night after we play at Canyon Ridge Christian Church. But with the neon lights of the strip beckoning sweetly...I can't make any promises.

oh, i almost forgot

So I got pulled over on the way to Colorado. I was a half-hour outside Denver and got pulled over for going 83mph in a 75mph zone. 83 in a 75, are you kidding me? That's only 8 miles over the speed! And in a 75mph zone!

For those of you counting, that is equivalent to getting pulled over for going 28mph in a 25mph zone. Or 50 in a 45. Talk about unnecessary.

I guess the police officer was a bit over-zealous or just in the mood to tick some one off.

Well, not much I can do except whine. Its not like I'm going to make the trip back out here to appeal it. Oh well.

Thank you Mr. Police Officer.

a note from snowy colorado

As I am typing right now, snow is falling and adding to the 4-5 inches that already covers the ground. Denver, Co...you've gotta love it.

Well, after a 21 hour drive that started at 9:30 PM on Friday...we arrived safely Saturday afternoon. We took showers and brushed our teeth (both very necessary activities at the time, trust me), then jumped on the Light-Rail and headed down-town for the night. We ate at 'Toyko Joes' (one of my favorite restaurants), and hit Starbucks and Virgin Records. We then returned home and passed out.

You know you sleep hard when you wake up in the exact same position in which you fell asleep.

Yesterday morning we got up and went to church at Mountainview Community Christian Church. I did an internship there two-years ago and it was a blast seeing so many old friends. It is such a blessing to see that church doing well.

We then grabbed lunch and headed back to the church to set up for our worship service that night. About 100 high school students packed in and we started the night. Everything went really, really well.

The only weird part of the night was that one of the youth sponsors gave a short devo when we were done and talked about the passage in Matthew 9, where Jesus heals the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years. I've heard devos and sermons on this passage before...but I've never heard the speaker go into such a in-depth description of the type of bleeding the woman was subject to. It was like sex-ed class. And even then they separate the girls from the boys when discussing..."that". Whew. I have always thought that a quick, vague explanation is sufficient and appropriate. Apparently, Dan thought otherwise.

It was an awkward and uncomfortable moment had by all.

Well, today we are going to challenge the snow and venture out to 'Red Robin' for lunch. I'm not coming to Denver and missing the opportunity to eat there. We'll then head to church and get ready to do it all over again tonight.

I hope tonight Dan speaks from Psalm 139:13 and teaches us where babies come from.

go west young man

(As absolutely pathetic as this makes me, I feel that I must make a confession to you: that title-line is the second time I have quoted Michael W. Smith this week. Two MWS quotes in one week. Please forgive me. I know that my "street cred" is really going to take a hit by admitting that. But there is no reason to hide the truth. I will simply apologize and ask you to not judge me too harshly.)

So...come this Friday, I will be putting the car in drive and heading off into the sunset. I have been given the opportunity to lead worship and share some of my music with various churches out west.

Denver, CO this weekend; Vegas next weekend and a little So-Cal in between.

Six shows in eight nights. Almost 5,000 miles round trip. I'd call it my West Coast Tour, but that would just make me sound like the type of guy that would quote Michael W. Smith all the time. And I don't want that. Oh...wait.

Well...Despite being forced into making some last minute band adjustments, I could not be more excited for this trip. The guys coming along and playing with me are some of my best friends: Jake on drums, Nate Mac on bass, Blake on electric, Taylor on keys and Matt running sound. This is a special and talented group of guys. Every one of them can sing well and play a variety of instruments. Every one of them is easy-going and a blast to hang out with. And the best part, every one of them is a worship leader. Every single one of them. There is not one guy who will be up there showboating. There is not one guy who will be trying to impress or wow. There is not one guy who...who wants the attention for himself. It is about Christ increasing as we decrease. They get that. And that truly makes all the difference in the world.

I do want to mention, however, that I am not sure how this trip will affect my blogging abilities for the next week and a half. My intent is to post from each leg of the journey and keep you all updated. That is my hope, but I don't know if it will be possible. I will try, though.

But anyway...pray for us as we drive literally cross-country and back.

And pray for me, as I am:

"Looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find my place in this world...my place in this world." Man...somebody really cool once said that, but I just can't remember who.

giants of faith

Through out history, the church has always had her celebrities. She has always had men (and more recently women) who have stuck-out, head and shoulders, above the rest of the pack. Men, of whom, she can look back on centuries later and call her “Giants of Faith”.

Paul, Augustine, Luther, Wesley, Spurgeon, Tozer, Lewis, etc.

The list is long and its credentials debatable. But as long as the church has existed, there have been at least one or two men who have stirred and inspired, studied and taught. We followers of Christ are a strange hodge-podge of broken and sinful people; people who can turn a ladies luncheon into an angry mob in an instant.

The church desperately needs God-fearing leaders to help her in journey through history.

But I am noticing a very dangerous trend that has come about in the last 30 years. Our contemporary “Giants of Faith” are no longer men who are known for their zeal and boldness, or for their rigorous spiritual disciplines and profound biblical insight. No, our current batch of celebrities is a group men and women who are known for their keen marketing sense and fortune cookie philosophies. Their pretty words fall like drops of honey on our ears. And we follow. They have earned their place, center-stage, not by standing firm in the face of persecution or agonizingly producing volumes upon volumes of scriptural commentaries by hand. No, they have drawn their attention with big smiles and bigger buildings. They are talented, clever and shrewd. Certainly, these men and women would have been every bit as successful in the business world should they have chosen that route.

What happened to the individuals who simply did not fit the world’s mold and thus shaped ours? What happened to the leaders who were more comfortable kneeling in the dark than standing in the spotlight? What happened to the ones who gave us steak, and not candy? What happened? Where are they?

Well, they are out there. Rest assured, they are out there. The church is always desperate...but her God is always faithful. Our true “Giants of Faith” are indeed out there and they are leading the way. But you are not going to find them on highway billboards or cable TV. No, they are too busy for all of that. But eventually, when the lights have dimmed and the smoke dispersed, the church will look back, and she’ll know.

travis: two tales

I have a friend named Travis.

Travis has made a lot of bad decisions in his life. And he has a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. True story: at church there was a married couple who had been trying and failing to get pregnant for years. They finally did and the first time they brought their beautiful new-born baby to church…as everyone was hovering over the babyseat ooh-ing and ahh-ing and as the proud parents beamed with joy…Travis, in all sincerity, asked, “What if it dies?” The room immediately went silent and every head snapped around to glare at him with disgust and disapproval.

That is Travis.

But despite his apparent case of mild social retardation, every once in awhile Travis will floor you by saying something so deep and so profound that it reminds you just how good of a man he really is. Obviously, having been friends will him for over a decade, I have many examples. But I want to share just two with you now:

ONE:
We were in high school and on a ski retreat with our youth group. There were 50 or so 9th-12th graders crammed into the lobby of one of the cabins, trying to sit in the closest thing we could make to a circle. The game: “Boundary Breakers”. I know that those of you who have spent any amount of time in or around any kind of Youth Ministry know what “Boundary Breakers” is. But in case anyone is unfamiliar with it, the premise is easy. A question is asked (“What is your favorite flavor of ice-cream?”; “What do you want your epitaph to say?”; “If you could meet any person from any place or any time in history, who would it be?”) and everyone has to answer. It is simple. And it is annoying.

The question was asked, “What is the color of love?” I think a girl came up with that one. Most people said something to the tune of, “Umm, red. Cause of like…hearts and stuff.” Some people said their favorite color. The depressed kid said, “Black”. The dorky upperclassman who always tries to be funny said, “Green. Cause I love money.” The overly spiritual girl said, “Red. Because that is the color of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ’s blood, of which the Holy Scriptures testify was shed on the cross at Calvary to save everyone of us from our sins and to give us the gift of eternal life. Amen.”

But Travis…oh Travis…when it came around to be his turn, he looked pensively into the distance, inhaled slowly, and said these words, “I don’t know…you know. I guess I think the color of love is that indescribable color of the sunset. You know that mixture of oranges and reds and purples and pinks. You can’t explain it, but you know it’s beautiful.”

Every girl in the room melted.

And every guy was kicking himself for not thinking up a better answer than “Red”.

Come on. This was a goofy 14 year old kid who biggest claims to fame were shrink-wrapping himself to stuff and a dead-on impersonation of a ticked-off bear. Where did that come from? And the most amazing thing is that he wasn’t trying to impress anybody or sound profound. He just meant it. For that 14 year old kid, in that moment, the color of love really was the indescribably beautiful color of the sunset.

Unbelievable.

But that is Travis.

TWO:
I have recently been struggling with worrying that I am just one more guy who plays guitar and writes songs and thinks that qualifies him for superstardom. I have written about that here, so I won’t bore you all with anymore of my self-absorbed babble. Anyway, I had shared with Travis in an e-mail how I didn’t want to be “that guy”, but feared, in reality, that that was in fact the case. In his e-mail back he responded to me with these words:

Speaking of what your doing....I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with being "that guy". It's commendable. I mean....you'll never be "that guy". I don't think there really is a "that guy" except for the goobers. You are just a guy that writes songs that wants them to be heard. It just so happens that others want that too. And that's cool....more music out there. Anyway, that's my 1 cent. Some might disagree...but I think those are the ones that want to do it but are too scared.

I don’t know how all that sounded to you, but those words nearly knocked me out of my chair when I read them. It is short, but it is sweet. And it resounded as truth in my soul. I needed to hear that. And somewhere out of the depths of his heart (probably right next to his admiration of sunsets) he spoke wisdom into my life.

Travis is a good friend. He has known higher highs and lower lows in his life than most of us ever will. Because he is unafraid failure, unafraid of being wrong. He is missing the link that says, “Wait a minute…what will other people think if I say this?” He just says what he means. Sometimes that gets him into trouble…like when he audibly contemplates the life expectancy of a new-born baby. But at least he is real. Good or bad, the guy is real.

And I envy that about Travis.

comment post

Recently, I was reading an article from a website that I frequent. The article was titled ‘Undignified’, and was about the lack of celebration in most Sunday morning worship services.

This comment was posted in response to that article:

I am not someone who particularly gets into worship through singing. I don't believe that that's the only act of worship, and I don't really enjoy it too much, and so to be quite honest, a lot of the time it is just half-heartedly humoring the worship band or singing along to pass the time for me. I get really excited about the other ways to worship God (talking about Him, reading the Word, doing things for others, etc.--there are millions). I think it's really unfortunate that the modern church has pigeonholed worship into meaning singing songs on Sunday morning and then not understanding when everyone doesn't operate that way.

Now to this person’s credit, the article was narrow-minded, immature and not at all biblically founded. Frankly, I don’t know why the site published it. But, in my opinion, this person’s comment was just as shallow and just as false.

So I commented:

In response to the last comment…I believe what is truly “unfortunate” is that some people miss the opportunity to join their local church family, as one voice and one heart, in expressing their collective adoration and devotion to God… which, by the way, greatly pleases Him and greatly transforms us…just because they don’t enjoy singing. What has been pigeonholed is your view of “singing songs on Sunday morning”. It isn’t about the music or the melody. And it most certainly isn’t about the physical act of singing a song.

Allow me to tell you about a man at my church. He is a hardworking, blue-collar man who sincerely does not enjoy music of any kind, period. He owns no CDs, he listens solely to talk radio, and he swears he has never sung a single note in his entire life. Yet, on Sunday mornings he joins God’s eternal song of praise. How? Well, he doesn’t utter a sound…but he does wrap his heart around the profound truths of the songs that the rest of us are singing.

And he worships…passionately.

And I believe that blesses God. I know it blesses that man. Compare that to someone who doesn’t “get into” worship through singing, so they instead “half-heartedly humor the worship band” or simply “pass the time”. What do you think most pleases God? Someone who hates singing, yet worships anyway, because he knows that God is worthy of our praise in every moment of every day despite our likes or dislikes? Or someone who selfishly denies God the true praise He is due because they don’t enjoy singing?

Don’t sing…I don’t care. But don’t miss the opportunity to bless the heart of God through collective worship with your local congregation. I agree that a our worship better never be confined to the songs we sing on Sunday mornings, but I would question greatly the worship of anyone who has the opportunity to expresses their praise to their God, yet chooses instead to withhold their worship until they are able to express it in a manner more in line with what pleases them.

oscar thoughts

I know, I know...lots of blogs will talk about their thoughts on the 78th Academy Awards...so I won't be too exhaustive. But after wanting to punch myself repeatedly in the face after watching the Critic's Choice Awards, the Golden Globes and (the absolute most retarded award show on the planet) the People's Choice Awards (can we just be honest? people mostly choose crap...why award that?)...I must admit that I was pleasantly suprised at how much I enjoyed last night's show.

I mean, yes...there were way too many montages (seriously, a montage of "epics"?). And there were more awards that I couldn't care less about, than ones I was interested in. But over all...it was a very entertaining show. I actually found myself laughing out loud at a number of jokes. The campaign videos were really funny, and Jon Stewart was hilarious...certainly better than Chris Rock. I usually can't stand Stewart on the Daily Show...he is just way too political for my taste...but last night, he was everything I used to enjoy about him. I missed the Ben Stiller part, but laughed when my wife told me about it.

My thoughts on the awards themselves: I didn't care who won for director, picture, screenplays, or anything technical...so I won't bother with them.

Philip Seymour Hoffman - Great. Thanks to stinking Jamie Foxx, we all knew Joaquin wasn't going to win. So I'm glad he did.

Reese Witherspoon - Wonderful. It made me very happy and my wife literally cry tears of joy.

George Clooney - Umm...whatever...the guy has enough people kissing his butt. I was actually rooting against him all night.

Rachel Weisz - Yeah, I didn't see the movie. But I loved 'About a Boy' and she was in that.

Its Hard Out There for a Pimp - I liked the 'Brokeback Mountain' song better, but this song winning made for a lot of funny jokes...so I can't complain.

Overall...far and way, what made me most happy was that (correct me if I am wrong) the name 'George W. Bush' was not mentioned all night long. I get so tired of hearing what uneducated movie stars have to say about politics and I thought for sure, with Jon Stewart hosting and the topics of the movies being awarded, that this year would be horrible. So the fact that it was so politically neutral (for the most part) made me very happy and allowed me to actually enjoy the show. Well, that and the fact that not once did I see anybody with the last name 'Simpson'.

you are right

You are right.

I am.

I am everything your stares tell me I am. I am deserving of the sting of your silence and I accept the fate of your whispers. You have tarred and feathered me with your dirty looks. I have no need to wear a large “A” on my chest, for you know who I am. I am the witch. And you are my jurors.

You are right. I am not the man I claim to be. I claim to be a follower and lover of Christ. I claim to a person devoted to pleasing God and helping others in their search to find Him. But I am not the man I claim to be. I am a sinner and not worthy to be called God’s beloved. I do what I do not want to do. I choose to sin daily. Hell, sin is a part of my lifestyle. I do not live up to the love I have received from the God whose name I claim. I fall short…and I am worthy only of death.

You are right. How dare I even attempt to fit my feet inside of the shoes Christ has given me to fill? These are beautiful shoes meant for beautiful feet. These shoes are sacred and holy, and they are dangerous, even deadly, when worn by the wrong man. How dare I defile them? These shoes are meant for the godly, not for the sinful.

You are right. You are right about everything you despise in me. I am the sinner you have pegged me to be.

You are right.

But if you don’t mind, please don’t light the fire under me. Please, I plead with you. If you would, untie my hands and take me off of this stake, because I would like to keep trying.

You are right, but don’t forget…I am still loved.

We are equally in need of the same grace and equally undeserving. We are equally to blame for the death of our Lord. You must remember that. We are both guilty, and both forgiven. We, both, have only one hope and it certainly is not our moral uprightness. We, both, have only one hope.

We are brothers, you and I. So…if you would allow me to, I would like to keep trying to do the best I can, knowing all I can really do is to cling to the grace that is freely given.

So please take me down off this stake and let me go.

And you are welcome to come along too if you’d like...and we could go about this journey together.

o joy of joys

As you can see, my site has changed a bit. I finally figured out how to get a list of my favorite blogs in the sidebar, as well as links to my other sites. Actually, it is an out-right lie for me to say that I figured it out. All I figured out was that my buddy Greg (www.gregadkinsmusic.com) knows a heck of a lot more about html than I do. So I went over to his house and he did the rest. Thank you, Greg.

The absolute most exciting thing that he did for my site, though, was to set it up so I could sell my CDs here. This makes me giggle and blush like a giddy school girl. Oh joy.

See, in a perfect world, I would be able to sell my CDs on my official site. But...alas, this is not a perfect world we live in. No, this is a world where web-designers slip on patches of ice walking out of their apartments and land on their laptops. That is what happened to Wes, the fellow designing my website, and now Apple has his computer for the next two to four weeks. Now, this is much more unfortunate and inconvenient for Wes than for myself...so I shouldn't have whined. But I did.

Well, I no longer have any reason to pout. I can sell my CDs here and on my official site whenever Apple decides to give Wes his computer back. So, for all of you who were pondering the possibility of purchasing a copy of my CD...now you can.

And I think you should.

real live preacher

If you have never read anything by the Real Live Preacher, you really should. He is absolutely excellent. Here is a link to one of his recent articles.

http://www.reallivepreacher.com/node/696

Take a look at his archives section, too. Start at the bottom and work your way to the top. There is a lot of meat in there. Well, I hope you enjoy.