travis: two tales

I have a friend named Travis.

Travis has made a lot of bad decisions in his life. And he has a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. True story: at church there was a married couple who had been trying and failing to get pregnant for years. They finally did and the first time they brought their beautiful new-born baby to church…as everyone was hovering over the babyseat ooh-ing and ahh-ing and as the proud parents beamed with joy…Travis, in all sincerity, asked, “What if it dies?” The room immediately went silent and every head snapped around to glare at him with disgust and disapproval.

That is Travis.

But despite his apparent case of mild social retardation, every once in awhile Travis will floor you by saying something so deep and so profound that it reminds you just how good of a man he really is. Obviously, having been friends will him for over a decade, I have many examples. But I want to share just two with you now:

ONE:
We were in high school and on a ski retreat with our youth group. There were 50 or so 9th-12th graders crammed into the lobby of one of the cabins, trying to sit in the closest thing we could make to a circle. The game: “Boundary Breakers”. I know that those of you who have spent any amount of time in or around any kind of Youth Ministry know what “Boundary Breakers” is. But in case anyone is unfamiliar with it, the premise is easy. A question is asked (“What is your favorite flavor of ice-cream?”; “What do you want your epitaph to say?”; “If you could meet any person from any place or any time in history, who would it be?”) and everyone has to answer. It is simple. And it is annoying.

The question was asked, “What is the color of love?” I think a girl came up with that one. Most people said something to the tune of, “Umm, red. Cause of like…hearts and stuff.” Some people said their favorite color. The depressed kid said, “Black”. The dorky upperclassman who always tries to be funny said, “Green. Cause I love money.” The overly spiritual girl said, “Red. Because that is the color of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ’s blood, of which the Holy Scriptures testify was shed on the cross at Calvary to save everyone of us from our sins and to give us the gift of eternal life. Amen.”

But Travis…oh Travis…when it came around to be his turn, he looked pensively into the distance, inhaled slowly, and said these words, “I don’t know…you know. I guess I think the color of love is that indescribable color of the sunset. You know that mixture of oranges and reds and purples and pinks. You can’t explain it, but you know it’s beautiful.”

Every girl in the room melted.

And every guy was kicking himself for not thinking up a better answer than “Red”.

Come on. This was a goofy 14 year old kid who biggest claims to fame were shrink-wrapping himself to stuff and a dead-on impersonation of a ticked-off bear. Where did that come from? And the most amazing thing is that he wasn’t trying to impress anybody or sound profound. He just meant it. For that 14 year old kid, in that moment, the color of love really was the indescribably beautiful color of the sunset.

Unbelievable.

But that is Travis.

TWO:
I have recently been struggling with worrying that I am just one more guy who plays guitar and writes songs and thinks that qualifies him for superstardom. I have written about that here, so I won’t bore you all with anymore of my self-absorbed babble. Anyway, I had shared with Travis in an e-mail how I didn’t want to be “that guy”, but feared, in reality, that that was in fact the case. In his e-mail back he responded to me with these words:

Speaking of what your doing....I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with being "that guy". It's commendable. I mean....you'll never be "that guy". I don't think there really is a "that guy" except for the goobers. You are just a guy that writes songs that wants them to be heard. It just so happens that others want that too. And that's cool....more music out there. Anyway, that's my 1 cent. Some might disagree...but I think those are the ones that want to do it but are too scared.

I don’t know how all that sounded to you, but those words nearly knocked me out of my chair when I read them. It is short, but it is sweet. And it resounded as truth in my soul. I needed to hear that. And somewhere out of the depths of his heart (probably right next to his admiration of sunsets) he spoke wisdom into my life.

Travis is a good friend. He has known higher highs and lower lows in his life than most of us ever will. Because he is unafraid failure, unafraid of being wrong. He is missing the link that says, “Wait a minute…what will other people think if I say this?” He just says what he means. Sometimes that gets him into trouble…like when he audibly contemplates the life expectancy of a new-born baby. But at least he is real. Good or bad, the guy is real.

And I envy that about Travis.

comment post

Recently, I was reading an article from a website that I frequent. The article was titled ‘Undignified’, and was about the lack of celebration in most Sunday morning worship services.

This comment was posted in response to that article:

I am not someone who particularly gets into worship through singing. I don't believe that that's the only act of worship, and I don't really enjoy it too much, and so to be quite honest, a lot of the time it is just half-heartedly humoring the worship band or singing along to pass the time for me. I get really excited about the other ways to worship God (talking about Him, reading the Word, doing things for others, etc.--there are millions). I think it's really unfortunate that the modern church has pigeonholed worship into meaning singing songs on Sunday morning and then not understanding when everyone doesn't operate that way.

Now to this person’s credit, the article was narrow-minded, immature and not at all biblically founded. Frankly, I don’t know why the site published it. But, in my opinion, this person’s comment was just as shallow and just as false.

So I commented:

In response to the last comment…I believe what is truly “unfortunate” is that some people miss the opportunity to join their local church family, as one voice and one heart, in expressing their collective adoration and devotion to God… which, by the way, greatly pleases Him and greatly transforms us…just because they don’t enjoy singing. What has been pigeonholed is your view of “singing songs on Sunday morning”. It isn’t about the music or the melody. And it most certainly isn’t about the physical act of singing a song.

Allow me to tell you about a man at my church. He is a hardworking, blue-collar man who sincerely does not enjoy music of any kind, period. He owns no CDs, he listens solely to talk radio, and he swears he has never sung a single note in his entire life. Yet, on Sunday mornings he joins God’s eternal song of praise. How? Well, he doesn’t utter a sound…but he does wrap his heart around the profound truths of the songs that the rest of us are singing.

And he worships…passionately.

And I believe that blesses God. I know it blesses that man. Compare that to someone who doesn’t “get into” worship through singing, so they instead “half-heartedly humor the worship band” or simply “pass the time”. What do you think most pleases God? Someone who hates singing, yet worships anyway, because he knows that God is worthy of our praise in every moment of every day despite our likes or dislikes? Or someone who selfishly denies God the true praise He is due because they don’t enjoy singing?

Don’t sing…I don’t care. But don’t miss the opportunity to bless the heart of God through collective worship with your local congregation. I agree that a our worship better never be confined to the songs we sing on Sunday mornings, but I would question greatly the worship of anyone who has the opportunity to expresses their praise to their God, yet chooses instead to withhold their worship until they are able to express it in a manner more in line with what pleases them.

oscar thoughts

I know, I know...lots of blogs will talk about their thoughts on the 78th Academy Awards...so I won't be too exhaustive. But after wanting to punch myself repeatedly in the face after watching the Critic's Choice Awards, the Golden Globes and (the absolute most retarded award show on the planet) the People's Choice Awards (can we just be honest? people mostly choose crap...why award that?)...I must admit that I was pleasantly suprised at how much I enjoyed last night's show.

I mean, yes...there were way too many montages (seriously, a montage of "epics"?). And there were more awards that I couldn't care less about, than ones I was interested in. But over all...it was a very entertaining show. I actually found myself laughing out loud at a number of jokes. The campaign videos were really funny, and Jon Stewart was hilarious...certainly better than Chris Rock. I usually can't stand Stewart on the Daily Show...he is just way too political for my taste...but last night, he was everything I used to enjoy about him. I missed the Ben Stiller part, but laughed when my wife told me about it.

My thoughts on the awards themselves: I didn't care who won for director, picture, screenplays, or anything technical...so I won't bother with them.

Philip Seymour Hoffman - Great. Thanks to stinking Jamie Foxx, we all knew Joaquin wasn't going to win. So I'm glad he did.

Reese Witherspoon - Wonderful. It made me very happy and my wife literally cry tears of joy.

George Clooney - Umm...whatever...the guy has enough people kissing his butt. I was actually rooting against him all night.

Rachel Weisz - Yeah, I didn't see the movie. But I loved 'About a Boy' and she was in that.

Its Hard Out There for a Pimp - I liked the 'Brokeback Mountain' song better, but this song winning made for a lot of funny jokes...so I can't complain.

Overall...far and way, what made me most happy was that (correct me if I am wrong) the name 'George W. Bush' was not mentioned all night long. I get so tired of hearing what uneducated movie stars have to say about politics and I thought for sure, with Jon Stewart hosting and the topics of the movies being awarded, that this year would be horrible. So the fact that it was so politically neutral (for the most part) made me very happy and allowed me to actually enjoy the show. Well, that and the fact that not once did I see anybody with the last name 'Simpson'.

you are right

You are right.

I am.

I am everything your stares tell me I am. I am deserving of the sting of your silence and I accept the fate of your whispers. You have tarred and feathered me with your dirty looks. I have no need to wear a large “A” on my chest, for you know who I am. I am the witch. And you are my jurors.

You are right. I am not the man I claim to be. I claim to be a follower and lover of Christ. I claim to a person devoted to pleasing God and helping others in their search to find Him. But I am not the man I claim to be. I am a sinner and not worthy to be called God’s beloved. I do what I do not want to do. I choose to sin daily. Hell, sin is a part of my lifestyle. I do not live up to the love I have received from the God whose name I claim. I fall short…and I am worthy only of death.

You are right. How dare I even attempt to fit my feet inside of the shoes Christ has given me to fill? These are beautiful shoes meant for beautiful feet. These shoes are sacred and holy, and they are dangerous, even deadly, when worn by the wrong man. How dare I defile them? These shoes are meant for the godly, not for the sinful.

You are right. You are right about everything you despise in me. I am the sinner you have pegged me to be.

You are right.

But if you don’t mind, please don’t light the fire under me. Please, I plead with you. If you would, untie my hands and take me off of this stake, because I would like to keep trying.

You are right, but don’t forget…I am still loved.

We are equally in need of the same grace and equally undeserving. We are equally to blame for the death of our Lord. You must remember that. We are both guilty, and both forgiven. We, both, have only one hope and it certainly is not our moral uprightness. We, both, have only one hope.

We are brothers, you and I. So…if you would allow me to, I would like to keep trying to do the best I can, knowing all I can really do is to cling to the grace that is freely given.

So please take me down off this stake and let me go.

And you are welcome to come along too if you’d like...and we could go about this journey together.

o joy of joys

As you can see, my site has changed a bit. I finally figured out how to get a list of my favorite blogs in the sidebar, as well as links to my other sites. Actually, it is an out-right lie for me to say that I figured it out. All I figured out was that my buddy Greg (www.gregadkinsmusic.com) knows a heck of a lot more about html than I do. So I went over to his house and he did the rest. Thank you, Greg.

The absolute most exciting thing that he did for my site, though, was to set it up so I could sell my CDs here. This makes me giggle and blush like a giddy school girl. Oh joy.

See, in a perfect world, I would be able to sell my CDs on my official site. But...alas, this is not a perfect world we live in. No, this is a world where web-designers slip on patches of ice walking out of their apartments and land on their laptops. That is what happened to Wes, the fellow designing my website, and now Apple has his computer for the next two to four weeks. Now, this is much more unfortunate and inconvenient for Wes than for myself...so I shouldn't have whined. But I did.

Well, I no longer have any reason to pout. I can sell my CDs here and on my official site whenever Apple decides to give Wes his computer back. So, for all of you who were pondering the possibility of purchasing a copy of my CD...now you can.

And I think you should.

real live preacher

If you have never read anything by the Real Live Preacher, you really should. He is absolutely excellent. Here is a link to one of his recent articles.

http://www.reallivepreacher.com/node/696

Take a look at his archives section, too. Start at the bottom and work your way to the top. There is a lot of meat in there. Well, I hope you enjoy.

the worship ministry of tomorrow

Recently, I was asked to be part of a panel for a class that was discussing the topic: Worship Ministry for the Next Generation Church. I was extremely honored to be asked and very much enjoyed the experience.

I thought I would post some of what I shared with the class. So here you go:

This is an interesting topic: Worship Ministry for the Next Generation Church. I think the only logical progression for our Worship Ministries is more guitars, louder drums and faster moving video backdrops. Thank you, have a great day.

No…no, I’m kidding.

But it is kind of funny…musically speaking, that does seem to be the next step, doesn’t it. I mean, there has been a progression to it. It started with an acoustic guitar and an over-head projector and now we’ve got electric guitars (and their beloved delay pedals) and moving video behind the words. I remember in high school, and even my first couple years in college, a worship band was a rare thing...oh, the good old days of the mid to late 90’s. But as hard as that may be to remember, it’s true. And what is interesting is that it seemed to take no real leadership to lead worship…at least with teenagers and college students (which is who I was leading at the time). Having the band, utilizing the dynamics of the drums and guitars…everybody was just right there, right from the start. There was an anticipation, an excitement. The atmosphere and tone of worship were set right off the bat. The style of music and the songs were new and fresh and so different from what we were all raised with and used to. I honestly feel like it was easy leading worship, in contemporary settings, in those days.

But now…well, now we have an entire generation of Christians who were raised with “the worship band”. True story: one Sunday I was sitting behind one of our church's core families. The gentlemen who was speaking said something about an old church hymnal. And I heard the 12 year old daughter of this family lean over and ask her mom, “What’s a ‘hymnal’?” I’m not kidding. She had no clue…she’s never seen one before. They are just as used to the new songs and the new instruments as we were with hymnals and the piano.

It takes more than just showing up with a band to lead worship today.

And actually, I am really happy about that. Because the cool songs and the cool instruments have had their day in the sun and can now take their rightful place in the “worship ministry tool-box” right alongside the organ and the ancient hymns.

No musical style is effective at igniting passion in a lifeless church and if the church is aflame, no style can quench it. They are tools, plain and simple. And we need to view them only as tools. Tools to be used as necessary and as relevant.

I have recently been attending a church here in town on Sunday nights that, although having a younger congregation, practices a very liturgical approach to worship. And frankly, those services are more passionate and alive than most contemporary worship services I have attended…or even led. The musicianship is…okay, definitely not spectacular. But the heart of that congregation is so focused on honoring and pleasing God, that it really doesn’t matter.

Establishing that kind of heart in a church body is incredibly difficult. I don’t know that I can tell you how to do that. I do know that it takes humility and a complete lack of self-dependence in what we do. It takes authenticity, men and women that have obviously been spending time in prayer and worship through out the week. It takes worship leaders who hunger and delight in Christ and who live God-entranced lives. It takes time and prayer and investment.

And it takes putting our people way, way before our performance. It takes stepping off of the stage. It takes putting our instrument down. It takes loving our people.

So, Worship Ministry for the Next Generation Church:
I don’t know...
Maybe projector screens are the new stained glass window.
And maybe the acoustic guitar is the new organ.
And maybe Chris Tomlin is the new Charles Wesley.
I don't know...

But I do know that a produced atmosphere with a rockin' sound system and cool lighting designs is NOT the new group of Christ-followers gathered together to humble themselves before their God to bring Him honor and glory and praise.
And I do know that a raised hand is NOT the new fully-devoted heart.

And...I know that new doesn’t mean better, and it doesn’t mean worse.

Our goal as Worship Ministers is the same today as it was yesterday, and as it will be tomorrow: to either express or awaken authentic, heartfelt satisfaction in our God. If I can lead my congregation into being a group of people who are obsessed with God as their treasure, their delight, their only gain in life or death; if the beauty, truth and worth of Jesus are seen and magnified, well then, the form will be secondary...as it ought to be.

a great quote:

"There was a time when the church was very powerful - in a time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society...But the judgement of God is upon the church (today) as never before. If today's church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century."
-Martin Luther King Jr.

choosing our battles

Um...can somebody explain to me why it is Christianity's job to fight for the 10 Commandments to be kept in schools, or courthouses, or any other public place? Shouldn't that battle be fought by the Jewish community? I mean, was it not the Jews who recieved the stone tablets from God in the first place? And if they don't care to fight, why are we so worked up about it? Maybe we should start lobbying to get that "Laughing Jesus" picture into public places. I think that would be much more appropriate.

what would happen?

What if your Senior Minister walked into church this Sunday morning and said, "Hello everyone. I know that we are not even two months into the year, but the elders and I have decided to rip up the annual budget. It's gone, completely torn to pieces. After service we are going to have a bonfire out back and worship over its ashes. After much prayer and dialogue, we have decided that while it makes good business sense, it just doesn't seem to line up with what we believe God has called this church to accomplish."

What would happen?

What if he continued, "So here is what we, as a church, are going to do with our weekly offerings: We will remain faithful to the finacial promises we have made. We are going to continue to pay the salaries of the ministry staff. We are going to continue to pay the mortage. We are going to continue to be responsible and pay all of our monthly bills. But...every cent beyond that, every single penny, we are going to give to this over-seas missionary, or to that innercity homeless ministry, or to this mission project committed to helping fight the AIDS/HIV pandemic in Africa, or that shelter for beaten and battered women, or to some combination of this and that. People, absolutely everything we give over the bare minimum it takes to run this church, will never see the insides of these walls. It will go to the hungry, the sick, the poor, the oppressed, those who have never heard the gospel...you know, the people Jesus was most interested in."

How would we respond? How would our neighbors respond? How would those who hate everything that the church now stands for respond?

"So church, here is what this means. There is no youth ministry budget. There is no worship ministry budget. There is no building and maintenance budget. There is no office supplies budget. We are going to have to figure out a way to do church with out all of that. If the children's ministry needs new curriculum, somebody needs to help them purchase it...or better yet, maybe a group of us can get together and help write a new curriculum for them. If we run out of toilet paper, which we will, the ladies that clean the church on Saturday nights are going to need someone to buy more. If a power-amp goes out, we will need to get it fixed or find a couple hundred dollars to buy a new one. Or, just worship with out it. If the youth ministry needs help, finacially, getting to their week of camp...church, we are going to need you. If we grow and run out of parking lot space, I guess we will just have to park on the road for a while. If we need more chairs, more bibles, more anything...we will get it, but we are going to have to rely on eachother to carry the extra load. Because our weekly offering is spoken for. It is not ours. Power-amps and children's curriculums are nice, but helping our fellow man live is better."

What would happen?

Well for starters, it would take more time and more collective energy from your people. Obviously, your ability to put on a slick and well-produced Sunday morning service would be greatly compromised. I know that your buildings and programs would surely suffer. And I don't think there is any way you could appear as appealing or attractive on the surface level. But...your message would be much more attractive. And I think that would be enough to grab people's attention and bring them back. Don't you? Don't you think that people, people who don't know a thing about Christ or His message, would recognize the humility, the love, the complete lack of self-interest in the way you spend your money as a church, and know that it is good? Don't you think they would know that there is something different, something other than the American dream of "bigger and better", that you have found and that you value? Don't you think that they would want to join a church like that? Well, I sure think so.

But to be honest, I really don't know what would happen? Could a church function like that? I don't know. Should a church function like that? I don't know. But, I guess there is no real reason to worry. The chances of your Senior Minister stepping up on stage this Sunday and saying anything like this are...well, not real good. So it is safe. Safe to ask, safe to wonder, safe to dream. So...what do you think would happen?

update

Sorry, I know that it has been awhile since my last post. Last week was insanely busy. Lots of moving and little sleep.

For Valentine's Day, Betsy and I had dinner at the Melting Pot and were served by a strange gentleman who slipped in and out of a German accent and made techno sounds with his mouth while stirring cheese, or pouring wine, or just walking by. Weird guy...we liked him.

Wednesday, I was up until 3:00am practicing for Friday night. Thursday, I was up until 4:00am editing a video for Sunday morning that, incidentally, we didn't end up even using.

Friday night, the CD release concert went really well. There was a great turn-out and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Well, I guess I can't speak for everyone...I enjoyed it, at least.

I was supposed to lead worship for a retreat at Smoky Mountain Christian Camp on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday morning I got up early, got ready and as I was walking out the door, I recieved a call saying that it had been cancelled because of bad weather in the mountains. I was bummed for a moment, then dropped my bags on the floor, crawled back into bed and slept til noon. That was nice.

Sunday morning, Betsy and I drove to church together for the first time since we've been married. Since I was supposed to be out of town and had all my responsibilities covered, I didn't have to worry about doing a thing. I just sat with my wife and enjoyed be led in worship.

Last night, I led worship for a Sunday night youth service at another church in town. The highlight of the night: as I was walking toward the youth room, arms full of musical equipment, after having just arrived, a sixth grade girl who I have never met before looked at me and said, "I don't like you. You are weird." All I could say was, "Yeah...sure, I can see where you would say that." Oh...God bless youth ministers.

Finally, among all the hustle and bustle of last week...my official website got up and going. It is www.billwolfworship.com. Wes Jones with Divergent Studios did all the design. Wes is a great guy and was wonderful to work with. If you are in the Knoxville area and need any photography or graphic design...Wes is your guy (man it feels good to shamefully plug someone else for a change).

Well, I have a couple articles I am working on and will hopefully have them up this week. Til then...

cds for sale

This Friday night I am having a CD release concert at New City Cafe here in Knoxville. And I am extremely excited. I am also extremely scared. Not so much for this show, because it will be almost entirely my friends and church family in attendance. That is always an easy win. No, the reason I am scared is that this marks the beginning of the next season in my life. It may only be a couple months...it may be longer, I don't know. But, basically for at least the next few months I am going to start pursuing opportunities to get out and lead worship or play concerts or...or whatever.

And to be honest, yeah...I am horribly afraid.

Am I afraid of rejection? No. Am I afraid that I might be a complete failure? Not really. So what is it? What am I afraid of? I am afraid of mediocrity. I am afraid of insignificance. I am afraid that I am just one more guy who plays guitar and leads worship and thinks that qualifies him for superstardom. I am afraid that I am just talented enough to really believe that I could be successful, but not quite talented enough to actually make it. I am afraid of neglecting my church family in my pursuit of...of...I don't even know what I am pursuing.

So why I am doing it? In short: to sell CDs. I know that sounds bad, so let me explain. I have been singing and playing piano my whole life. From elementary school through college, music was my thing. About six years ago, I began penning my own songs. 99% of them are worship songs, or worship-y songs. And all along the way I have heard, "Man, you really should do something with your music", "Bill, you need to record this stuff." "You could really make it." I have heard a lot of those remarks. But so have those mentally-handicapped kids who get slaughtered by Simon Cowell on American Idol. I am truly, truly appreciative of the compliments I have recieved...but as far as career advice, they just don't carry much weight.

So my response has always been: Yeah, I would love to be famous, or have a record deal, or just have my music heard, but I'm not going to be the one that makes it happen. I will sprint through any door God opens, but I do not want to "make it" on my own ambition or will-power. I'll continue to write songs and lead or perform on whatever stage I'm given. But I'm not going to pursue anything bigger.

That sounds nice, doesn't it? Real humble. Well, it was...at first. Then it morphed into false humility. I took pride in being somebody who had talent, but didn't feel the need to pursue it. I know that sounds completely stupid, but it is true. Then on one occasion after reciting my amazingly spiritual and humble response, someone said to me, "Well okay, but what is worse: someone who God hasn't gifted and whose songs don't really say anything getting out and getting their stuff heard and then being rejected; or someone who God has gifted and whose songs do say something that keeps it all to himself because he wants to be modest?" Hmm. That comment broke me and it really made me think.

Then, this past May I feel like God opened a door.

My friend Kevin was going to be in Atlanta, which is about 3 hours south of Knoxville. I hadn't seen him in nearly a year, so it was well worth the trip. While visiting him, I had the opportunity to have dinner with some people who are very much in the worship music scene, so to speak (I know that is a horrible way to phrase that...I apologize). In the conversation, the fact that I write some worship stuff came up. One of the gentlemen mentioned that he does some record producing and engineering, and would love to work together on something. I could have run circles around that restuarant, I was so excited.

Well...long story short, I now have a guest bedroom full of boxes and boxes of my CDs. And now I need to sell them. See, I didn't realize that walking through a door that God opened, requires that you take some pretty difficult steps.

So here I am, calling friends and strangers and everyone in-between, asking, "Hey, would like to book me to lead worship, or play a concert at your church or coffeeshop or 60,000 seat stadium (okay, I'm not that bold yet)?"

Here I am, getting ready to travel and put myself out there, under an intensely scrutinizing spotlight; not really knowing why or what will come of it. Completely blind and afraid and unsure.

Here I am, sitting in my office, alone and wondering if anyone will ever care.

Maybe they will. Maybe they already do. Maybe, my stage will never be any bigger than the church of 150 that I currently work with. If so...I am 100% okay with that. Great. Awesome. I will gladly and sincerely thank God when I die for such an opportunity and such a blessing.

But until then, I've got some CDs to sell.

question:

Did our Vice President really shoot an old man in the face?

Answer: Yes, he did.

yuppies and elders

Friday night my wife and I were walking around a home-furnishing store. We had just gone out to eat with some friends and didn't want to go home yet, so we thought we would window shop a little. While at the store, we found a small oriental rug on sale for $30 dollars.

At this point, I should tell you that at church we have a large oriental rug on stage that I stand on while I lead worship. The purpose of this rug is mostly aesthetic. It hides some guitar cables and generally makes the stage look a little nicer. But this rug has caused some problems. See, our Senior minister walks around a lot when he preaches, and I don't know whether it is the way he walks or what, but that darn rug bunches up on him every Sunday. He has come close to falling face first off the stage on a couple different occasions. Now...yes, that would be funny, but it would probably be a little distracting, too. And that's not good. So we picked this rug up. It was big enough for me to stand on while leading worship and small enough for my Senior Minister to walk infront of while he preached.

Well, in the check-out line, we were stuck behind a stiff, well-dressed, upper-class young woman who was constantly using the phrase "have to" out of context. "I have to have that wall-hanging for my bathroom." "Oh, I have to have a manicure tomorrow." She just kept saying it. "I have to have this. I have to have that..." I don't think that woman understands the definition of the term "have to". You have to have that wall hanging for your bathroom? Really? Do your facilities not function in the bathroom without it? Or worse...do you not function in the bathrooom without it? Yeah, I can see where that would be an issue. But my guess is neither is true. My guess is that you are so far removed from reality, and so indoctrinated into the Western consumer culture that you have never really known "have to" in your comfortable, exorbitant life. That is my guess.

People who act like that drive me crazy. I honestly hate it. Mostly...because I am prone to it. I am. I really have never known "have to" in my life either. Now, I have never been anywhere near wealthy...but I was born and raised in America. Thus, my lifestyle has always been lavishly comfortable compared to most people in the world. So I guess people like that bother me because they highlight what is really a deficiency in me.

On more lighthearted weekend-related note: Sunday morning it looked like a postcard here in the hills of East Tennessee. Over night a snowfall had blanketed the ground. Every branch of every tree held an inch or so of fresh powder. It was absolutely gorgeous. It has felt like Spring since Fall this year, so I was extremely happy for a least a little taste of winter.

A few minutes before our church service started I walked up to a window in the sanctuary and gazed at the snow covered hill across the parking lot. I said to one of the elders (who was sitting on the edge of the stage drinking coffee), "I just want to sled down that hill right now." Staring into his cup of coffee and not missing a beat, he responded, "We used to use car hoods." I just broke out laughing, "What?! You seriously used car hoods as sleds?"

Now understand, this is not your typical church elder. Think Lynyrd Skynyrd meets Benny Hinn. He is an outgoing, passionate Holy Ghost-er who wants nothing more out of life than to rip-off some killer Southern Rock licks any chance he gets. He is one of my favorite people in the world and it is not suprising at all that when he was in highschool he and his buddies used to steal the hoods off of cars when it snowed and see how many of them could make it to the bottom of the hill. It doesn't suprise me one bit. And I don't know if that was a 60's thing, a redneck thing or a just guy thing...but I'm a little envious.

And this is exactly why I love the people of my church. These people are real. Goofy, flawed and real. Unpretentious people who don't hide the fact they are far from perfect. They are blue-collar and very East Tennessee. They are not rich, and they don't pretend to be. But they do know the difference between "have to" and "want to". And I like that.

heaven

I've been thinking about heaven a lot recently. Not in a morbid way...I guess I just feel as though the eternity of never-ending fun and games I learned about as a kid just doesn't work for me anymore. You know, we make fun of the Islamic belief that when men enter into the afterlife they are greeted by 72 virgins. But outside of Christianity's emphasis on sexual purity and monogamy...we essentially believe the same thing. Its just golf instead of virgins.

One of my least favorite questions that people ask is, “Do you really think that all we are going to do in heaven is worship…forever. Certainly, that can not be all we do for eternity. Can it?”

The reason this question bothers me is because I believe that our beliefs and expectations of heaven are solid indicators of the true focus of our hearts. And this is a question that seems to be posed from a heart centered on self, not Christ. Look at the scriptures every time heaven is mentioned. Every angel and heavenly host is always encircled around the throne of Christ singing His praise. All of heaven is obsessed with Jesus. He not only dwells there, He is enthroned there. He is the center of every moment in heaven. And His pleasure and glory are the sole motivation for every movement of heaven.

I think we have a hard time understanding complete and eternal obsession with Christ in heaven, because while we believe that Christ truly does exist, we live almost every moment of our lives for ourselves and act as if Christ’s existence within our lives is mainly to assist us, work to our advantage, and make our lives better. So it is natural for us to believe the same of heaven; that heaven is about us and our receiving of eternal enjoyment and pleasure. And of course, we believe that Christ’s presence in heaven will enhance that.

Well, it will be quite an awakening for all of us when we do finally “walk through the pearly gates”. To be in heaven is to be in unhindered, unrestricted, full and complete view of Christ’s blazing glory. The moment our fully restored eyes catch a glimpse of Him, we will be on our knees, faces to the ground, crying in utter reverence and joy, “Holy, Holy, Holy”. We will be so overwhelmed with the fullness of His presence that we won’t want to ever take our eyes off of His radiant face. A thousand years will pass by in an instant as we strive more and more to behold and praise our King, for all that He is. And do you think that it will take any less than an eternity to do that? Do you really think that you are going to be bored after ten minutes, or ten days, or ten thousand years of gazing upon His unobstructed beauty? Do you really think that it will be possible for your senses to be deadened or your enjoyment lost? Do really think that there will ever come a time in heaven, when you stand up and look around for something else to do? I believe that as soon as you lifted your head, you would again be face to face with His brilliant glory and fall back down on your knees and be lost in worship for another eternity. We won’t care to catch up with our old friends. We won’t care to walk the streets of gold. We won’t even care to see our long deceased relatives. As much as all of this might interest us now, before the splendor and attractiveness of Christ, I believe it won’t even be an after thought. We will only care to worship Him forever. He will be our Joy and our Pleasure. For this is the purpose for which we were created and this is the purpose for which we were redeemed: to intimately know and have an unhindered relationship with our God. And what other relationship could we possibly expect between man and the Almighty, altogether Glorious Creator and Sustainer of the universe, other than us, the eternal worshipers, and God, the eternally Worshipped? We all will be forever obsessed with Christ in heaven…because heaven is all about Him.

Of course, this is all just my opinion of what heaven will be like. I don't know any more than anyone else. On earth, all we can really do is speculate...so if you're still into the golf thing, that's fine too.

now this is genius

For all you "Back to the Future" fans out there...

http://youtube.com/w/Brokeback-to-the-Future?v=zfODSPIYwpQ&search=brokeback%20to%20the%20future%20

the Jesuses i have known

Brian Mclaren begins his book "A Generous Orthodoxy" by explaining the seven Jesuses he has known in his life. In other words, the seven understandings of Jesus that, at one time or another, dominated his thoughts, prayers, and theology. It is an interesting concept. My friend Mark challenged me to also think about and figure out how many Jesuses I have known in my 25 years. Here is what I came up with:

1). "The Big Guy in the Sky" Jesus - This is the view of Jesus I possessed as a child. I didn't care about Him and He didn't care about me. I'm sure He was up there doing whatever He does up there, but it made no difference to me. I was too busy playing "Goonies" in my backyard.

2). "Raining on my Parade" Jesus - In Junior High, I thought of Jesus as this All-Powerful Ruiner of fun. If I enjoyed it, it was probably wrong and Jesus was mad at me for doing it. I remember my best-friend Cory going to church camp at the beginning of each summer. He would return and be absolutely no fun to hang-out with. One time at the park, another boy asked me where Cory was and I answered, "Oh, he's at church camp. It sucks. He'll come back and be on a 'holy high' for a few weeks before he's back to normal. He does this every year." For some reason that memory is burned as clear as crystal in my mind.

3). "The Ticket to the Train" Jesus - After being led to "accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior" at an Illinois Christian Teen Convention my sophmore year in highschool by Mike Singletary (yes...Mike Singletary, the Chicage Bears' Hall of Fame linebacker), the first Jesus I knew was the one who would get me through those pearly gates and onto that street of gold when I died. What good was He before I died? I don't know, doesn't matter. I got my ticket to the train. One Saturday afternoon, my buddy Jeff and I broke into the Junior Highschool gym to shoot hoops. The entire time I tried to convince him that he could never be good enough to get into heaven on his own. "You need Jesus, so that when you die you go to heaven, not hell." That was the extent of my evangelical prowess.

4). "Follow me and You Can Still be Cool" Jesus - Okay...in the mid to late 90's, if a youth minister bleached his hair and grew a goatee he could double the size of his youth group in a year. Period. Actually, I'm kinda serious. The fact that following Jesus didn't mean pleated khakis and a side-part for the rest of my life was a huge deal. I could be a Christian and not have to commit social suicide? Sweet. As long as you don't mess with my image...we'll be alright.

5). "I Want What is Best for You" Jesus - This is undoubtedly the Jesus I knew for the longest period of time in my life. He really needs no explanation. Just walk into any Christian bookstore and look around for awhile. You'll figure it out.

6). "I Want What is Best for the World" Jesus - Discovering this Jesus absolutely shook me to the core. Wait...Jesus cares as much about the sick and starving people of the world as he does that I can't get 'so and so' to like me? Maybe even more? Unbelievable. And now you are going to tell me that His favor falls as much on the oppressed and dying souls in third world countries as it does on the SUV driving church-goers of America? It seriously was almost too much for me to handle. I thank Brian Smith and the books of K.P. Yohannan for helping me find this Jesus.

7). "I Want What is Best for Me" Jesus - This Jesus is the Jesus I am currently calling Jesus. The difference between Him and the two previous Jesuses is that he encompasses them both. Ultimately, what is best for me and what is best for the world is the exact same thing as what is best for Jesus...however, the pleasure and glory of Christ is eternal and should then be supreme. His Name's sake is the sole motivation for why He does all He does. And His Name is the salvation of the world. He is first and foremost, always and forever.

So, those are the Jesuses I have known. To be honest, I was embarrassed at first to share this with you. Some of those Jesuses, especially the Ones since my conversion, are very unsettling for me. But you know what, I'm not afraid for you to read this. Because none of those Jesuses are bad. None. There are just incomplete. And that is okay.

Think of a toddler. She has no clue how her daddy provides for, supports, and protects her. Her mind does not possess the ablility to comprehend the part he played in giving her life. She has no idea of the sacrifice he makes on a daily basis for her to live and play and laugh. All she knows is that he is really fun to snuggle with while watching princess movies. That is the daddy she knows: "Fun to Snuggle With While Watching Princess Movies" daddy. One day she'll figure out that he is more. One day she may even appreciate him for all that he is. But until then, you know what her father is going to do? Snuggle with her and watch princess movies. Because it is not her cognitive understanding of who he is and what he does that he longs for. Its her. Her love and affection. Her excitement when he comes home from work. Her putting down her toys, clumsily running to and wrapping her soft, little hands around his neck. Its her. Her time, her attention, her smile. Its just her. And if snuggling while watching princess movies is how she connects with him...well, then you better believe that he will be the darned happiest "Fun to Snuggle With While Watching Princess Movies" daddy in this entire world. Because it is really just her that he wants.

please tell me this is a joke

http://iwjo.com/

church discipleship 101

The traditional model of church was making disciples but not reaching the lost. This begs the question, “Then was this model of church really ‘making disciples’?” But as long as the doctrine was right and the people were happy, it seemed no one was asking that question.

The baby-boomer model of church reaches the lost, but does not make disciples. This seems to beg the question, “Then is this model of church really ‘reaching’ the lost?” But as long as the numbers continue to grow and the parking lot is full, it seems no one is asking that question.

Is there a better way?

Or...is it even the church’s job, as an institution, to reach the lost and make disciples? Is it the Christians' job, as individuals, to reach the lost and disciple those in their own lives, and the church’s job to support, teach, encourage, keep accountable, love, and provide a place for fellowship, communion, corporate worship and bible study for the Christians and those they are discipling?

Let me ask it another way: Did Paul and his companions start churches as institutions that ‘reach the lost’? Or did he and his companions reach the lost and then start a church as place of fellowship and community because he knew the Christian life shouldn’t and couldn’t be lived alone? Did he expect those he reached, through his life and message, to reach others through theirs? Or did he plant the church and tell the people, “Here you go. You work and keeping this thing up and running and it will do the work for you. Now, you’ll have to work hard at it and your work will keep you inside these four walls most of the time. But you just keep this thing going like a well-oiled machine and it will reach the lost and make disciples all by itself. If for some reason it doesn’t…don’t waste your time looking at your individual deficiencies, just continue to rework the machine until you get it up and running again.”?

I believe the wanna-be CEO-type pioneers in the baby-boomer church attempted to fix what was actually a deficiency in us, as individual Christians, by fixing the institution. The baby-boomer churches might be ‘reaching the lost’ on some level…but the Christians within them are not. Traditional churches were small and filled with people who didn’t ‘reach the lost’, and now they are big and filled with people who don’t ‘reach the lost’. So what? Am I to believe that just because the number of people who attend a Sunday morning service is bigger, that that church is doing anything right? I am not that naïve. All it really means is that the people in charge are cunning and strategic enough, with their borrowed systems and models, to figure out a way to get the people in their community to come to their church for one hour a week to be entertained, maybe even inspired.

Let’s play this thing out to the best possible scenario given the baby-boomer model. Some one comes to be entertained by the church. Maybe they hear the message of the gospel one week and want to join the church and become a Christian. So they do. Then they are told that the way of growth and deepening your faith is to join this class and then that class and then after that you can choose to either go to this other class or that other class. And maybe...eventually, they choose to join a small group that meets once a week. But through this whole process, no one person discipled them. No one person poured his or her own life into that person and loved them and cared for them. The institution did it all. And now that person has no clue how to disciple others. All they can say to their family and friends is, “you should come to my church.” Meaning: “I want you to become a follower of Jesus, but I have no clue how to help you, so come to my church and maybe they can help.”

Our medium has become their message.

This is horrible, sad, and frankly not biblical. And the way to fix it is not to rework the institutional machine. Let’s do away with the machine. The institution may be effective at putting butts in seats, it may even be effective in converting mass groups of people into the subculture of Christianity and membership within our institution. But at that point, a person’s sole worth becomes his or her ability to play a part in keeping the machine going.

One-on-one discipleship simply does not produce the numbers that the business-leadership books tell our churches we ought to be producing. It doesn’t produce churches that are as “impressive” as the ones we read about or see on T.V. It won’t get the Senior Minister a write-up in Time or People or even Christianity Today. It simply won’t ever be successful by worldly standards. Of course, it is in line with Scripture. It is the way Jesus discipled. It is the way the apostles, and pretty much everyone else we read about in the New Testament, became the men of faith they were. And it is always the way of humility, faithfulness and love. But you can’t put any of those things on a chart or spread sheet, can you? Success in those areas doesn’t impress your colleagues, does it? And you can’t really learn any of those from a book, or a conference, or…or an institution. The only way to really learn those things is through discipleship, through life. Which…by the way…is also the only real way to pass it on.

So... how do we begin to become the types of churches that are focused on true discipleship and not growth charts?

(And please don't say "We'll go start our own church and do things our own way." And then call it "church planting". Please...lets not do that too.)

man in black

I admit it, I didn't know a thing about Johnny Cash until I saw "Walk the Line" this past December. But after seeing it, and thoroughly enjoying it, I picked up a greatest hits CD and found the song "Man in Black". What an absolutely amazing song. It was written in 1971, and like all great songs, it is every bit as relevant today as it was then.

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.
-words and music by John R. Cash