Monday, September 22, 2008

hmmm...

As I sat today outside of Old Navy trying to calm down my hungry son as Betsy shopped for clothing that does not start with the word "maternity", a number of questions began popping up in my mind.

Here they are, in no particular order...


--Why have Betsy and I spent hundreds of dollars on seats and swings and cribs and bassinets and 'pack'n plays' and all those fancy things, when Jude refuses to sit or sleep anywhere but our laps?


--If neither Jude nor my torso change their position in any way, why does he start crying as soon as I sit down and stop as soon as I stand up? How can he possibly tell the difference?


--Is it just me, or does he really get excited when he sees me for the first time after I've been gone all day? I know that newborns supposedly do not yet possess that ability, but it sure seems like he does.


--Why has a month of day and night constant reps of 9-10lbs not added any definition to my upper body?


--How is it possible for the smallest person in the house to have, by far, the loudest gas?


--Why is that when we were waiting for Jude to arrive, a month seemed like an eternity...but now that he is here, the past month has seemed to fly by?

6 comments:

Betsy said...

the answer to all these questions is "because he's precious".

Rafael said...

Amen, Betsy.

These are all common questions, especially the "sit-down-stand-up" one. I remember thinking, "If I could just sit down I think I could handle Jae's crying/screaming/pooping/puking/etc.," but she never let me sit down. I think it comes from the theological principle of retributive justice: God is avenging our parents upon us with our own kids! Dastardly, if you ask me . . .

michaelCODY said...

About the reps.... haha. I almost killed your nephew yesterday. When I got home from lunch I discovered he had eaten an ink pen. Black ink -all over- the friggin' apartment. Nice little bonus, black paw prints throughout the place.

Anonymous said...

Well Bill you are beginning to understand a little more about parenthood. There will always be far more questions than there are answers. As soon as you think you have it figured out, you find out you are as clueless as you always were. Just enjoy each moment no matter if it is crazy, messy, funny, sweet, or a mix because it really does fly by!!!
Can't wait to see you guys soon!!!

Peggy

The Anonymous Human said...

Bill,

Your sister is wrong. There are answers to all of these. I know all of the answers but I'm not going to share because I want you to suffer.

Jake

P.S. Just kidding. If you find out about the stand up/sit down one, let me know, k buddy?

Mrs. Jake said...

Let's see...

Question 1 - because you "think" you need all that stuff. Thank you America consumerism. (did I spell that right? - anywhoo)

2 - the inner ear fluid

3 - Of course he's excited! He knows your voice!

4 - You're getting old

5 - he's gifted (are you sure he's not a keck?)

6 - welcome to parenthood. Soon he'll be leaving for kindergarten - (tears in eyes)

Carrie

Ps Just kidding about number two. That is a mystery. We'll know when God comes back.

Great job on the video!