Tuesday, November 14, 2006

story time

Last weekend, while in Naperville, IL, my friend Alan and I ran across a bargain bookstore. It was a little hole in the wall place that, quite frankly, was one of the most unimpressive bargain bookstores I've ever been in. They didn't even have shelves. They just had piles of books on folding tables.

After skimming through the 'Religious' and 'Art' sections, I was ready to leave. But Alan was still making his way through the 'Childrens' section looking for a new pop-up book for his daughter. I was patiently thumbing through a photography book of Las Vegas, killing time, when I heard Alan say, "Bill...check this out."

I was unprepared for what I saw next.

Alan was holding in his hands a thin book with an illustrated picture of a man whose curly head of hair was as black as the night. The title of the book:

"Carman Presents: No More Monsters (A Storybook for Kids)"

We had struck gold. I didn't realize Carman wrote children's books.

There is so much I could tell you about this book. It is based off of his hit song of the same title. The premise is that a 10 year old Carman watches scary movies on TV. When he goes to bed, he gets scared by demons pretending to be the monsters from the movies. Also...a little fun fact...the illustrator's name is no where to be found on the book. I can't imagine why he would want to remain anonymous.

Here is an excerpt:

On TV there's this creepy guy, the Alligator Man.

I watch him while he chases and hunts this peaceful family through the woods with only one thought in mind...

He wants to eat their little kid for lunch!

I got so weirded out I couldn't sleep. Then it happened...an evil spirit floated by my bed.

I got righteously indignant! I was gonna make that demon pay! I could hardly believe the nerve of this little punk demon. I thought, Heyyyy...all right! That's it, you're dead! The anointing came upon me. I chased it out when it heard me say, "Don't want no monsters in my house tonight! Don't want no monsters in my house! You won't get me screamin', you're nothin' but a demon! Its time for you to go now!"

I don't want to be picky, but isn't the thought of an Alligator Man who wants to eat little kids just a tad frightening for a children's book? Also, I'm not sure little kids understand the phrase "righteously indignant". I'm not sure I understand the phrase "righteously indignant".

Either way, this book was an absolute find and I'm sure it will be haunting the dreams of children in my family for generations to come. Thanks Carman.

Here are a few illustrations for all of you to enjoy...




5 comments:

The Anonymous Human said...

Hey man, Carmen was my idol until I was about 15 years old. Yes, I know, I was a late bloomer. But you tell me of another Contemporary Christian Artist that can hold a candle next to "The Champion".

I'm still waiting...

What's that? You don't care...Well, me neither.

MichalRuth said...

I've no words for that little piece of gold, except thank you. thank you, Bill. you've brightened my already sunny day in Bangkok.

Anonymous said...

If you were really addicted to jesus and not worldy sarcasm, you wouldn't try to tear down our brother Carman.

hallelujah for the ministry of Carman. He'll always be my champion.

bill said...

taylor...there is no reason to leave comments anonymously on my blog. if you have something to say about me and my addiction to wordly sarcasm, let everyone know its you.

greg said...

It was me. Booya!

Satan, bite the dust!