Sunday, September 06, 2009

Interesting Story and Doubt

As I (Betsy) was checking out at Wal-Mart today the thought occurred to me that my wallet was in Jude's bag. At home. Mortified, I told the very friendly cashier what had happened and that it would be about 15 minutes and then I would be back to pay. He told me he'd hold all of it for me. I went out to the car and realized on the way that Bill had left his wallet in the car and I was too lazy to bring it back into the house as I was leaving. So I got the wallet, paid for my groceries and was outta there in about 5 minutes.

I got home, walked in and told Bill what happened. His response was, "That is so weird. I fell asleep on the couch and had a dream that I lost my wallet."

I don't know what the moral of this story is, but I thought I would share it because it is a cool story.

I have experienced a few things like this recently. Sometimes I wonder if God is showing off; as though he's saying, "If you think this is cool, you just wait until you see what else is in store." It makes me wonder why I would ever doubt.

Along these lines-are you guys familiar with the song "Doubting Thomas" by Nickel Creek? It's old but one of our favorites. We find it very easy to relate to, maybe everybody does. But still, I am in love with a God who does not forsake me in my greatest times of doubt. In case you are interested, here are those lyrics:

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath,
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who know me,

Will I discover a soul saving love,

Or just the dirt above and below me,

I'm a doubting thomas,
I took a promise,
But I do not feel safe,

Oh me of little faith,

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face,

Then I beg to be spared 'cause I'm a coward,

If there's a master of death I'll bet he's holding his breath,
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power,

I'm a doubting thomas,

I can't keep my promises,
'Cause i don't know what's safe,
oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth,
When I'm scared I'll find proof that its a lie,

Can I be lead down a trail dropping bread crumbs,

That prove I'm not ready to die,

Please give me time to decipher the signs,

Please forgive me for time that I've wasted,
I'm a doubting thomas,
I'll take your promise,
Though I know nothin's safe,

Oh me of little faith

I especially relate to, "Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face, Then I beg to be spared 'cause I'm a coward." How many times have I begged God to change me, knowing if I let Him that he would, but instead I chose to remain as I was?

My prayer today: More of You, less of me.

Caravaggio's painting, "Doubting Thomas" or
"Saint Thomas Putting his Finger in Christ's Wound"

1 comment:

Tim said...

i love that song and one of our favorites too.

i read dangerous wonder by mike yaconelli and he mentions thomas briefly in a chapter of his book called risky curiosity . . . and he says this; "when everyone else said they had seen jesus after the crucifixion, thomas wasn't satisfied. he wanted more. he wanted to touch jesus, hear jesus, see jesus, embrace him. . . thomas wasn't doubting jesus, he was longing for jesus. curiosity is a hunger of the sould and because thomas was strong and courageous and spoke bluntly, he was daring enough to ask tough questions. he was not refusing to believe, he was refusing to settle for secondhand faith . . . jesus didn't criticize thomas. he honored his curiosity."

interesting to think about at least . . . just thought i'd share. hope you all are doing well. miss you guys.