Monday, January 30, 2006

i think i know who you're looking for...

My good friend Dustin ( has recently posted some job descriptions of various minstry positions he was searching for on the web. I am not looking to leave to the church I am currently serving with, but from time to time I like to check out what other ministry positions are available out there (usually on Monday mornings). I came across this one and thought you all might find it as absurd as I did. I'll let you know my thoughts after you read it:

Denomination: Non-Denominational
Worship Style: Blended
Church Size: 3001 to 4000
Job Status: Full Time

Job Description:
Responsible for ushering in an atmosphere of worship and devotion to God during all services. Establish an anointed and award-winning worship team that attracts people of all nations to proclaim Jesus as their Savior. Administer and oversee all aspects of the Music and Worship Ministry including singers, band and sound. Create song sets for services, oversees recruitment, scheduling and training of all team members, introduce new and original music, and sets planning goals and budget to bring a unique and beautiful sound for worship and excellent sound quality for the ministry teaching.

• Organize an anointed music team
• Create and record original music for the ministry
• Recruit, develop and maintain a pool of trained musicians and singers
• Capture the vision in all aspects of the music ministry
• Oversee scheduling and reporting
• Develop and maintain a training and development program
• Create song sets for each service that work for that congregation and assigns song leaders to each song, musical keys, etc.
• Evaluate, recommend and implement improvements for all services
• Administer key communication, new song lyrics and CDs, monthly calendars and schedules to entire team
• Schedule and coordinate sound needs and musical needs for special conferences, weddings, funerals, and other misc. meetings
• Assist with special event planning for the church

• Trained and experienced musician and worship Leader
• Excellent administrative and organizational skills
• Producing and Recording experience preferred
• Willingness to flow with type of music and sound consistent with the vision of the ministry
• Understanding of Biblical worship
• Computer skills

First of all, I love that it would be my responsiblity to "usher in an atmosphere of worship and devotion to God during all services". What is this atmosphere you speak of? That seems a little vague. Is it one where people have their eyes closed and their hands raised? And how exactly does this ushering process work? Is it not the responsibility of all of us to be devoted to and worship God individually thoughout the week? And if the people of your church aren't already devoted and worshipping, how do I usher them into such an atmosphere in just one hour? Dim the lights? Play cool video backgrounds? Having the stage lighting wax and wane with the dynamics of the music? Yeah, I can do all that...but is that an atmosphere of worship and devotion?

My favorite part, was the "anointed and awarding winning worship team" that I would be responsible for establishing. Anointed? Can I establish that? Isn't that a Holy Spirit thing? I can lead our worship team in humbling ourselves and earnestly seeking the anointing of the Spirit. That is something we can do...asking and praying for the anointing. But I gotta think that it is the Holy Spirit who will be doing establishing. That is just completely out of our hands. Secondly, there is the award winning thing. Really? Seriously? Well, exactly whose award are we trying to win? I could probably get my buddy Gunnar to give us an award. A cool blue-ribbon that says, "First Place for Best Worship Team in the World". Would that suffice? And aren't awards for anything worship related a bit ironic and inappropriate in the first place? What about just focusing on bringing authentic praise that pleases the heart of God? Should we not be a little concerned with that. No? Its just got to be award winning? Okay.

Finally, I like that under "Skills Needed" having an understanding of Biblical worship is under producing and recording experience and just above computer skills. At least they have priorities.

Well, I believe I know who this church is looking for. And I think, I think she is already hired at another church. Somewhere in Australia maybe. Well, hey if you can't get Darlene...maybe Israel Houghton is available.


Dustin said...

good thoughts. every one of these descriptions i read i am left already feeling defeated. It would take a superhuman to fulfill these requirements. It's just setting someone up for failure!

By the way, know of any college/young adult positions?

greg said...

you know what would win you an award is a dude slinging his guitar around... 1st prize for sure!

- bucky buckwilderson.