a noble steed

At times, I feel as though my whole life is a struggle to not let down those who are somehow convinced that I am better at certain things than I actually am.

I don't want to let them down. I don't want to reveal the truth; the truth that I am more often than not, completely clueless and hanging on by a thread.

And sometimes...sometimes I lose that struggle. This past Sunday morning, I felt like I lost a bit of that struggle. And it hurts when I do, because you know what I feel like?

An ass.

I feel like a complete ass.

However...and what a strange and glorious truth this is...there is a great joy in being an ass. You know why? Because God loves to use them.

God loves to use asses. And he did so all through out the Bible. He used them to carry burdens and lighten the load of His people. He used the jawbone of one to help Samson kill 1,000 Philistines. On one occasion, He even choose to speak through one.

And what did Jesus choose to ride into Jerusalem for His triumphant entry? Yep. An ass. And I just wonder if the reason Jesus choose an ass instead of a stallion or a steed, was because He didn't want the horse to think, for one second, that the all the praise and adulation might be for him and not Christ; that the roar of the crowd or the excitement of the people had anything to do his beauty or his impressiveness. I wonder if the reason Jesus choose an ass was because He didn't want the vehicle He was using, to accomplish His will for His glory, to hear cheering and mistakenly stand up and say, "Wow! For me?!"

Regardless of who is convinced of what about you or about me, the struggle to keep up the facade and look good is fruitless, because the truth is...we are all asses.

But take heart, because I think that might be exactly what God is looking for.

to beard or not to beard

It has been a busy week since my last post. Here is a quick overview:

-I went to Georgia for the wedding of my friend and favorite sound guy, Matt. I got to sing and play piano for the ceremony. I, also, got in a game of disc golf at Lenora Park outside of Atlanta.

-I was the featured Artist of the Week on Love89 here in Knoxville. I went into the studio, was interviewed and played a few songs live. That was pretty cool.

-Had, hands down, the most stressful Sunday morning of my life. Service was great, but pre-service was pretty much a train-wreck (Satan certainly knows his way around sound systems doesn't he?). We finished up our study on Paul by looking at the grace of God amidst the storms of life. I think I might have been a bit of an object lesson for the day.

-And...I annihilated my wife and our friend Taylor at Phase 10 (which we all know has everything to do with skill and nothing to do with luck, right?). That made me feel much better after Sunday morning.

Also, last week, I shaved off my beard. I actually can't remember when I started growing it (I think it was the week before Easter) but it was pretty unruly by the time I put the clippers to it. I was in no hurry, so I took my time.

I also took pictures. Here are the highlights...



The "Mac Powell"



The "Late 90's Youth Minister"



The "Sam Elliott"



The "Foxworthy"



The...lets be safe and call it the..."Charlie Chaplin"

grace abounding

(click here to download this or other original songs)

Of all sinners, I am the worst
Nothing in me is lovely or pure

Short-fallen and depraved, I am found
Amazing is the grace that abounds

Your grace abounding
My sin not counting
O to be bounded
to the blessed, blessed flowing fountain...of grace abounding

I'm so good at all that I hate
I fall on mercy forever and today

Short-fallen and depraved, I am found
Amazing is the grace that abounds

Your grace abounding
My sin not counting
O to be bounded
to the blessed, blessed flowing fountain...of grace abounding

All redeemed now sing your praise
O for God's abounding grace
All redeemed now sing your praise
Grace alone, your soul, has saved

1 Timothy 1:15
"This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all."

Romans 7:15-20
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

Many of you have more than likely read or heard those words from the Apostle Paul a number of times. And maybe our familiarity with them has dulled their edges for us a little bit, but the truth is...it is absolutely amazing that Paul thought this way and spoke this way about himself. Its actually pretty scandalous.

Paul is obviously and undeniably one of the most important leaders in the Christian faith through all of history. And he considered himself a horrible sinner? The worst? And not just pre-conversion Paul, but after his Damascus Road experience? After his baptism?

Yes. And I believe it is absolutely vital that we, likewise, understand the depth of our own sinfulness. A "wise man" once put this quote on his blog (by they way, I still don't know whose quote this is), "If your sin is small, your Savior is small. But if your sin is large, then your Savior is large."

I think that is so true...not in the sense that you should sin big as a way of increasing God. Paul was pretty clear about the falsity of that belief.

No, rather in the sense that the deeper the understanding of your own sin and depravity, the deeper your understanding of grace. If you don't take your own sin seriously...acknowledging that, regardless of how moral and upright you have become, you deserve nothing less than death because of it...than you don't take grace seriously.

In other words, if your sin is not a "big" deal to you, than grace is not a "big" deal to you...and my understanding of the Bible is that grace should the biggest deal in the world.

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dances with wolfs

The past few weeks at Crossings, Mark has been teaching on the work of grace in the life of Paul. This morning he took us through the series of events that followed Paul's conversion.

One of those events was the changing of his name from Saul to Paul. To illustrate the significance of a changed named, we used the example of Kevin Costner's character in the movie Dances with Wolves. If you remember, he began the movie as Lieutenant John Dunbar and ended it as a Souix named Dances with Wolves.

To bring it all home, we were going to use a clip from the movie. But we accidentally played a scene from the wrong Dances with Wolves. Either way it was extremely powerful. You might be confused, so I suggest taking a few seconds and giving it a glance.

Click HERE and enjoy.

(Seriously...watch it!)

a word from brother lawrence...

"God has infinite treasure to bestow, and we take up with a little sensible devotion which passes in a moment. Blind as we are, we hinder God and stop the current of His graces. But when He finds a soul penetrated with a lively faith, He pours into it His graces and favors plentifully; there they flow like a torrent, which, after being forcibly stopped against its ordinary course, when it has found a passage, spreads itself with impetuosity and abundance."

That passage from The Practice of Presence of God hit home with me this morning.

"...and we take up with a little sensible devotion which passes in a moment." How true is that? We are taught, "Hey, I know you are busy. I know you have lots of important stuff to do. But just 15 minutes a day...that's all it takes. A scripture and a quick prayer and then boom, you're done and can move on with your day."

It is really a surprise that 15 minute devotions are about as successful as "7 Minute Abs"? I mean, how many people have purchased a Bowflex... just to have it catch dust in their basement a month later?

Maybe the way to awaken spiritual fervor in people isn't to make it as quick and easy as possible. Maybe our cultural adherence to 'the more convenient...the better" doesn't translate so well into matters of faith. Maybe, just maybe, God considers devotion a matter of our heart, not a matter of a small time allotment at the beginning or end of our day.

Is it wrong to do daily devotions? No. Absolutely not. Is 15 minutes too short of a time? Maybe, maybe not. I think it is up to the individual. But what I do know is that we can not proclaim something to be of utmost importance and then teach people how to get through it as quickly as possible.

I guess what I'm wondering aloud is: by teaching that 'devotions' are quick and easy, are we not also making them unimportant and irrelevant? And maybe a more vital question is: and are we, thus, effectively stopping the "current of God's graces" upon us?

I honestly don't know.

one seat left...

My friend Jason asked the question on his blog yesterday that had me up all night tossing and turning; the type of question that you just can't shake; the type of question that cuts right to heart of who you are and what you value.

What was the question?

If you could take a cross-country road trip with any five people in the world...who would they be? Now, this question is harder than it may appear. Think movie stars, athletes, politicians...people who you would want to carry on long conversations with. People who could tell stories, make you laugh, keep you interested on such a long trip. People with good music collections.

Now, I choose to stick with people who are currently alive to make it easier on myself, but I have still yet to fully answer this question. Here is who I have come up with thus far:

1) Conan O' Brien. He's a no brainer...quick witted, intelligent, completely goofy.

2) Tony Kornheiser. He is also smart and funny. Plus, I need someone on the trip to talk sports with. And, bonus...he'd probably be the guy who would say random things that the rest of us could look at each other and laugh at. You need that guy.

3) Alan Hirsch. There are so many authors that I could take, but I feel like he would be the most fun. He'd probably get us into trouble. Also, I don't know that much about him or his take on faith...so compared to other authors, I think he'd be the most interesting to talk with.

4) Jack Black. He's a gamble. I could see him being annoying on a long road trip. I could also seem him sleeping the entire time, which would be no fun either. But best case scenario, he and Conan would obviously play extremely well off of one another...and I'd really like to see him and Hirsch hang out. I think they have the potential to be kindred spirits. I also think they have the potential to get us all arrested.

And...this is where I get stuck. I have only one more seat in the car. This is it. There are so many directions I could go. I thought Peyton Manning. He's funny. He's strong (in case Hirsch and Jack Black get us into a bar brawl or something). We both have lived in Indiana and Knoxville. We could talk about that. I don't know.

I thought about N.T. Wright. The guy is just so wise. I thought about Matthew McConaughey. I'm not the biggest fan of his work, but he'd be laid back, could talk sports with me and Tony, and would probably do some emergency engine work if we had car problems.

Will Arnett? Bob Dylan? Yau Man?

Isabella Rossellini? (Friends any one? No? Okay.)

I gotta have people who are up for a good time and can carry on interesting conversations. So...any suggestions? I need help.

Who would you take?

amazing grace indeed

I am often asked why I insist on using a music stand when I lead worship. May I present to you exhibit A (by the way...make sure you watch the whole thing):

my wife, the photographer

Actually, she isn't a "photographer".

At least, I didn't realize that she was. But I love these pictures she took this past Wednesday night. She was downtown with some friends for swing-dancing and sushi (which, by the way, I think might be the title of David Crowder's next book). They apparently had some time to kill between the two and she snapped these:

I think I shall call it, "Ode to Knoxville in Black and White":

time for a check-up

Apparently, in the months following the birth of a baby, there are a series of check-ups that the infant must go through (I say "apparently" because its going to be another 7 months before Betsy and I know anything about that. KIDDING!) And...apparently...one of the most important check-ups occurs when the baby is 3 months old.

Well Crossings, the faith community Betsy and I are apart of here in Knoxville, just met for our 13th week yesterday...which means we are now 3 months old. So, its time for our check-up. This past week we have spent a lot of time talking about the "DNA" of Crossings thus far. Who are we? What are we about? Are we staying true to what we believe God originally dreamed up within us?

On Saturday morning, we discussed this topic among our Leadership Community. Mark opened up the floor and asked people to start shouting out their answers. Some were only one word. Others needed a bit more explanation. I took notes through out the whole discussion, and I want to share those with you now. I'll explain why in a minute but first, here is what people had to say (note: some of these might not make sense out of context...sorry):

- acceptance
- real
- caring
- sense of humor
- energetic
- a focus on the positive (wins)
- Lutherans and girls can serve communion (equality/respect)
- purposeful with our wording
- inquisitive
- unity (connectedness)
- safe place
- a place where individual gifts are needed
- beehive (integrated & holistic)
- if we err, we err on the side of grace
- relaxed
- family
- we get the mission: helping people find their way back to God
- ownership
- right where we are supposed to be (numbers and beyond)
- foundation, foundation, foundation
- “the right word”/it would be dangerous to grow beyond our ability to care

It was a long discussion, and I realize that these notes are short and possibly even predictable. But the reason I wanted to share these with you is because there is theme among them that stuck out in a major way to me as I typed. I noticed it by about the third answer and as it continued I almost got teary-eyed.

Here it is: all of these characteristics have to do with...people. Not programs. Not an awesome service. Not a rocking band. Not great preaching. Not anything cool or hip or different. Just people.

People.

I can not explain to you how much that meant to me. See, this past fall/winter one of the biggest items on my to-do list was to oversee the purchasing of all sound, lights and video equipment. We were purchasing everything from scratch and had a very substantial budget to work with.

Through out the whole process, however, I was having serious internal struggles. I kept thinking, "Wait...why do we need to buy anything? I have a projector, its crappy but it'll work. I've got a guitar and a laptop and some cables. Why do we need to spend so much money on this? Wouldn't we be better stewards to spend it elsewhere?" I was so afraid that we were going to be just another one of the churches trying to out do eachother with a bigger and better show. And I absolutely did not want that.

Even since we have launched I have sometimes doubted the whole thing, "What are we doing? Does any of this mean anything? Is it all just a waste of time, money and energy? What is the point?" Now, understand...most of my job, by far, as the worship and creative arts guy, is spent on planning and preparing stuff for Sunday mornings. But the things is, I don't think Sunday mornings are most important. Thus, I am constantly trying to balance these two realities.

The discussion on Saturday morning gave me just a glimpse that maybe what we are doing on Sundays does mean something. That maybe we aren't just a bunch of wanna-be rock stars in a Chris Tomlin cover band trying to do louder and edgier songs than the church down the street. That maybe all the time I spend on equipment and videos and creative planning actually is helping to get the message across.

The message that it is all about God and...people.

Now, I didn't say any of this Saturday morning. Mostly because I'm trying to be manly (you know with my beard and all) and I didn't want to start crying. Actually, I was overwhelmed and I didn't know how to word it. I'm not sure I do now. One of our leaders, Anyssa, did make this observation, "Everyone of these characteristics is something you can say about Jesus." I think that's true.

Granted, we are only 3 months in...but apparently it has a been a pretty good 3 months.

psalm 137 (in babylon)

(click here to download this or other original songs)

Standing here
Water's near
We've lost our song

The days of old
have long since gone
So far from home...here in Babylon

Our captors say
that we must play
our joyful songs

But our harps are hung
Our melody is gone
They can't be sung...here in Babylon

Can a heart tuned to mourning
sound a song in major key?
Songs meant for temple gates and rejoicing
May my tongue forget how to sing...here in Babylon

In my opinion, Psalm 137 is one of the most haunting passages in all of Scripture. Maybe its because it is so vivid and packed with imagery. It does end with the heartwarming line "...seizing infants and dashing them against the rocks".

But that image isn't the one that sticks out in my mind. Rather, its the picture of God's people hanging up their harps along side the river. Like a boxer hanging up his gloves...the Israelites retired their songs of praise while in Babylonian captivity.

Despite its somber tone, this psalm has always been one of my favorites. I've tried time and again to pen a "worship-y" tune that incorporated some of that imagery. But it has never panned out. It would feel out of place, like I was stretching to get it in there, and so it always ended up on the cutting room floor.

A week ago or so, I sat down with my guitar and this song kinda just came out. Its not "worship-y" but that's okay with me. Anyhoo, here you go:

close encounters...

...of the celebrity kind.

Here is a video that we used in our worship gathering this past Sunday. Mark was teaching on the passage in Mark 2 in which four men lower their paralytic friend through the roof of a house in order to get to him to Jesus. As I am sure many of you know, the reason they had to go through the roof is because...as the Bible says, "so many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door."

To set the scene of the crowd that had gathered around Jesus, Mark referenced the packs of people who always seem to surround celebrities whenever they are in public. We asked our community if any of them have ever run into a celebrity. A few had and they agreed to recount the story on camera for us. We edited it up and this is what we got:



A friend named Paul Clouse helped edit this and worked incredibly hard on it. I am sure he doesn't read this, but if you see him...tell him I said, "thanks again".